Parting the Clouds
by Zoggerific
Summary: Judy Hopps' life has never been quite the same after a tragic accident in a school play. Luckily, she happened to gain a helpful friend in her head to make sure she navigates the trials of an ordinary farmbunny in a world of predators. A Zootopia AU. Now edited by my friend VictorLincolnPine
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

". . . fall . . . spear . . . her head."

"What . . . mean . . . in . . . head?"

". . . that. It . . . of course . . . permanent damage there . . . all."

Judy could hear voices. They sounded distant like someone was yelling to her from across the farm. She couldn't actually see the source of the voice, though. She tried to touch her face in an attempt to find the source of the obstruction, but she found her arms unable to respond to the signals from her brain.

"Permanent damage!? Stu, what kind of damage are you talking about?" Her mother. Judy would have recognised that concerned voice anywhere.

"Now settle down, dear. He just said there's a chance of permanent damage. I'm sure the doctors are doing everything they can for her."

_Dad that was Dad. Why are my parents here?_ Judy thought to herself.

"The brain. It's a very delicate thing. At this point, we just have to wait and see what happens."

_Who was that? A doctor, maybe?_ Judy thought.

"Well, I'm just frustrated. We've been told that hearing a familiar voice would help but we've been visiting for two weeks now and they told us she hasn't so much as flinched in that time. I-I'm scared for her," her mother said.

Judy attempted to respond, but her mouth barely moved and the only noise to escape her lips was a quiet raspy growl.

The three people in the room immediately looked to the bed where the sound came from. Beneath the blanket lay a pre-adolescent bunny. Thick bandages covered most of her head and her jaw was slowly moving up and down as she made an attempt to speak.

Her parents bolted to her bedside, while the doctor ran out to the hall. "Nurse! The patient may be waking up!"

Judy's mouth and throat were drier than she had imagined possible, making it exceedingly difficult to create the necessary vibrations in her vocal cords to speak. All Judy could manage was to move her mouth and make barely audible grunts and groans.

"Is she tryin' to say something?" her mother whispered.

"I don't know Bonnie, it just sounds like growling," her father replied.

Judy decided now would be a good time to try her eyes again. Her mouth stopped moving as her eyelids fluttered slightly and her parents leaned in closer to her face.

"Is she going to wake up?" her mother breathed.

"I don't know! Why do you keep asking me stuff like that?" her father replied.

The doctor came in followed by a nurse with a tray holding a large plastic cup and straw balanced on her back. She set the tray down on the small table at the foot of the bed and pushed her way past Judy's parents. The doctor approached the other side of the bed. "Excuse me, Miss Hopps, I need to check on her."

"Oh, sorry 'bout that." her mother made room for the doctor who leaned in close. He carefully lifted one of Judy's fluttering eyelids and quickly shined a bright light in and out of her eye. "Her pupils are dilating, that's a good sign."

He moved his mouth just a few inches from her ear and spoke in a very soft tone. "Judy? Can you hear me?"

_Yes! I can hear you!_ she screamed in her mind, but the only noise that came was another guttural moan.

"I would call that a response. I think she's waking up. Be patient, this may take a while." the doctor, a moose with a pair of hazelnut eyes turned to the nurse. "Would you please help me get her sat up?"

Judy found herself looking at her mother who looked less like the matriarch of her two hundred and seventy-five rambunctious siblings and more like a tired, dishevelled shell. The bags under her eyes were accentuated by the hospital lighting and her cheeks were streaked with tear stains.

_Mom! You can help me._ Judy tried once again to speak, making another growl erupt from her larynx.

"I believe she is trying to speak, as you can hear," answered the doctor.

Judy decided that opening her eyes would be easier. Placing every ounce of concentration into the simple task, she tried as hard as she could to raise her eyelids. They fluttered once, twice and slowly opened. She had her eyes about half open when she snapped them shut, the utilitarian lights of the hospital nearly blinding her.

The doctor noticed this and quickly instructed his nurse to turn them down. "Sorry, Judy. If you can hear me, please try to open your eyes again."

She did as asked. This time, she found it a little easier. Her vision was blurry at first, but the scene in front of her quickly came into focus. Her parents were standing beside her, tearing up and smiling like Judy had done something wonderful.

I woke up. It's really not that big of a deal. Wait, can I move my arms yet? Her right arm twitched as she concentrated on moving it. She was only able to bring it up across her stomach before it fell. She let out a raspy groan.

Now putting all her will into speaking, she attempted to communicate her desire for a drink to quench her parched throat. "Waa..." she huffed and narrowed her eyes towards an inviting cup brimming with water at the end of her bed. "Waaaah…"

"I think she's thirsty," her mother stated flatly.

"Oh, right," the doctor smiled sheepishly and brought the cup over to the bedridden bunny and stuck the straw into her mouth.

Judy suckled on the straw. The cool water that cascaded over Judy's tongue was as sweet and refreshing as ambrosia. It cooled her throat and moistened her parched throat to the point where she felt tentatively ready to make intelligible conversation once again.

"WhaaaatammIdoinnnhere." A look of shock filled Judy's face when she heard her run-together and terribly slurred speech.

Her mother came to the side of her bed and gave her a hug, with tears streaming down her face. "Oh, thank goodness you're awake, Judy. I thought we were going to lose you."

"Whaat haappennnd?" the bunny asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

"There was an accident, dear."

She tried to think back. The last thing she could remember was the play, Gideon and then...

The doctor looked at Judy's parents "Would you all excuse us for a moment, I need to speak with Judy in private."

Her mother perked up at this request. "What!? But we didn't even get to talk to—"

"Come on, dear, most importantly our girl is in good hands and we can talk to her later on. Sorry, Doc."

As soon as everyone was out and the door shut, the moose looked back towards the lame lapine laying on the bed. "Judy, there was an accident at the school play. Do you remember it?"

Judy shook her head.

"Do you remember the fall?"

She nodded. Then a terrifying thought crossed her mind and her eyes grew wide with terror. "Giideon?"

"Yes. Gideon pulled you out when you fell," the lapine just stared at the doctor with tired eyes, waiting for the rest of the story. "He just heard a suspicious noise backstage when he happened to be walking by. He said he found you at the bottom of the trapdoor."

Judy tried to shake her head or voice some other means of protest for the distortion of events but found the effort too taxing. "Why cann't I taalk riight?" she asked instead.

"You landed on a prop spear. A piece of it was propelled into your head, it breached your skull. The doctor paused, running a finger down the groves of his antler till he, at last, arrived at a spot just above his right eye.

He hiccoughed as though trying to break a difficult topic. "The family physician in Bunnyburrow removed the shard, and you stayed there for twelve days before you were moved here."

"Whaat went wrawng?"

Judy tried to move her right arm again. This time it felt like a limp noodle from prolonged inactivity. She willed it to her forehead and touched a hand to a spot just above her right eye. Her digits made contact with soft bandages long before it made it to her forehead and brought about a sharp tang of pain, dulled by the morphine coursing through her system.

"You shouldn't be doing that Judy," the doctor protested settling her hand to her side. "Would you like me to bring your parents back in?"

Judy shook her head, "Tired."

The doctor chuckled. "You know, you've been asleep for two weeks."

Judy nodded and repeated, "Tired."

"Later, maybe?"

"I would liiiike that. What about schooool?"

"It's too early to tell but maybe in a few weeks of therapy and you'll be right as rain. Your teachers have been informed of the accident and they understand."

Judy gave a weak smile.

"Rest up. It's a miracle that you've come back to us at all." With that, the moose made his way to the door and exited the room.

Judy lay in bed, completely still and staring at the ceiling, thinking back to what happened two weeks ago. It seemed like there were things she needed to remember. But whenever she came close, they seemed to slip out of reach like some slippery eel. Judy decided to close her eyes, thinking that answers would come to her tomorrow.

**_He won't be punished you know?_**

That was new. Judy's eyes snapped open to the voice in her mind. What was it talking about?

_**Gideon's father is the wholesaler for all of Bunnyburrow and the next several counties around it. Your parents won't risk their livelihoods over you. The school won't punish him either. Not when his dad is behind their paychecks.**_

_No ones above the law! They'll know._ Judy thought to herself.

**_Your parents just think you're a klutz. Now you just have to do something about it._**


	2. The Voice

**The Voice**

By the time Judy awoke, had breakfast and recovered her faculties well enough to hold a coherent conversation with her parents, it had become readily apparent the voice was not a by-product of the cocktail of drugs that had been pumped into her system. Despite feeling (mostly) cognisant the voice had quite on the contrary only increased in intensity and had begun telling her things. Things that troubled the pre-adolescent bunny deeply.

**_Ask about the farm's finances._**

Bonnie and Stu Hopps observed their daughter carefully, treating her like she was some fragile porcelain vase ready to shatter under the slightest pressure. They skirted around anything that would draw Judy's attention to her present state of being. Rather, they focused instead on the outpouring of support, financial and otherwise, from family and neighbours alike.

_See, there's absolutely nothing to be worried about. My parents are doing just fine._

**_Now, who are we fooling here? Listen carefully to what they're talking about. It's all they've been talking about for the last fifteen minutes._**

Judy's eyes rolled over to the clock on the opposite side of the wall and did some mental arithmetic before coming to the conclusion that the voice was in fact correct.

"Sweetie, is something wrong?" her mother asked.

"I havea," Judy began, but she stopped midway and coughed. Though her speech had improved she still slurred words together on occasion.

**_You wouldn't want to tell them about me. Otherwise, they'll put you in the nut house and cram a colourful collection of happy pills down your throat._**

_You're right. Maybe I'll get rid of you later._

**_I would love to see you try._**

Noting their daughter's pensiveness, the heads of the Hopps family leaned in. "How is the farm?" Judy squeaked.

"Sweetie, the farm isn't going anywhere. Why it's been in the family for way longer than anyone can count and you can bet your fluffy tail it'll still be there when you're ready to walk out," her father started hopefully. His country drawl softened by his care for his daughter. "Besides, when Cousin Manny and Violet heard about what happened they boarded the first train to Bunnyburrow to help out with the farm. It may have been years but we Hopps have got farming in our blood, even those of us that move all the way out to the city."

**_Ask them._**

"What about the hospital bills?" Judy asked, her throat suddenly going bone dry.

Her parents exchanged worried glances.

"Should I?" her father began.

"Oh, not now Stu, she doesn't need to hear this," her mother cried, taking her husband by the sleeve.

Stu went over to the sink and retrieved a glass of water for his daughter before speaking. "I think she should. Remember our rule: no secrets from the family." turning to Judy her father huffed and placed his hands on his hips. "We've been speaking to the bank, but money's going to be tight."

**_Told you._**

_Shut up!_

Judy waited, ready for whatever snide remark the voice would throw her way, but as though recognising the gravity of the situation it fell silent. It hadn't disappeared completely though, Judy was sure of that.

"Sorry Dad," Judy choked out.

"It's not your fault Sweetie. We'll make it up during the county fair and maybe it'll just be a tighter Christmas this year," her mother started hopefully.

Her mother's reassurances did not assuage her worries. Judy knew that even prior to her accident her family while not in dire financial straits were hardly made of money. Consequently, most Christmas gifts came either in the form of handmade toys or hand-me-downs from her elder siblings. Judy had, of course, never thought any less of her family for this. Besides, last year she had received a tyre rim and a stick to push it along with which turned out to be surprisingly fun.

Judy dreaded to think exactly what her parents meant by a 'tighter Christmas' and despite their best efforts her parents reassuring tones and strained smile failed to lessen the deep stab of guilt that pierced her heart. In the end, Judy yawned loudly, feigning exhaustion, giving her parents the excuse they needed to take their leave.

In the weeks of therapy following the incident, Judy showed remarkable improvement. Gradually, her slightly slurred speech disappeared altogether and soon she was walking about unaided (though she was advised to avoid stairs). Everything was proceeding smoothly and soon she would be discharged provided she completed one final hurdle between her and an uneventful discharge.

Judy heard the rustling of paper and immediately tensed up.

"This is just a formality Judy, nothing to be worried about," the psychiatrist began. "Now, let's start over from the beginning. Tell me a bit about yourself."

"Well, I ain't much. I'm your average bunny living in Bunnyburrow with my family. We're carrot farmers going back three generations though we also grow blueberries, cabbages and rhubarbs. But I don't think I want to go into the family business though."

"And why is that?" the doctor asked.

"I really want to get into the Zootopia Police Department," Judy stated hopefully.

"Do you think a bunny really could be a cop?"

"Well, we can. The mammal inclusion act signed into law just two months ago. It's just like the article says. Prey is ninety percent of the population, but in certain professions like the police force, we're really underrepresented. So, it's high time things started changing for the better."

"You're certainly a very ambitious young lady," the doctor noted scribbling down his notes.

**_That's polite talk for saying you're delusional._**

Judy did her best not to respond to the voice in her head. It was harder than she realised but she found ignoring it would usually cause it to grow 'bored' and it would retreat to wherever it lurked when it wasn't bothering her.

"What can you tell me about your family?"

"Well, there are my parents Bonnie and Stu Hopps, then there are my siblings, Anthony, Allison, Alex, Alvin, Anna, Aubrey, then we move on to my b-siblings."

"I think I'll just say no long-term memory loss," the doctor interrupted.

"You do that, sir."

"I understand this may be traumatic but I need to ask you about events surrounding your accident. Do you feel alright telling me a little about what happened at the school play?"

"I left for the school fair early since I had one of the lead roles."

"Which role was that?"

"It a bit of a long story, you sure you want me to ramble on that much?"

"This is an important part of your assessment, so I believe so." The psychiatrist replied, resigning himself into his chair and readying his note pad and pen.

Judy slowly forced open her eyelids. The nascent rays of dawn came all too quickly for the pre-adolescent as she found herself wiping away the exhaustion from her eyes. Once again, she tried to reassure herself that as far as elementary school events went the play was simple enough. Still, she found herself being haunted by dreams of inadequacy that had amounted to a night of tossing and turning between bouts of restless sleep.

Taking care not to awaken any of her siblings she slid from her bunk bed, Judy trod lightly on the wooden floor and slid down the bannisters with nary a squeak to mark her approach. Satisfied, She inhaled deeply only to be greeted by a wonderful smell: home-cooked food. She could recognise her mother's cooking anywhere.

Judy shook her head, still trying to shake off the haze from her restless night. Walking through the doorway to a modest kitchenette, she found her mother, busily fashioning stack after stack of pancakes for her siblings and herself. She'd already produced quite a number.

"Mom, what are you doing up so early?"

Bonnie Hopps smiled "Well, it's our baby's big day. We can't have our girl going hungry, can we? Now get out of here and go sit down. I got this covered."

"Thanks, Mum. That really means a lot to me."

Judy blushed and swiftly found her usual spot at the table which would ordinarily have been swamped but now save for her Dad and a couple of her unmarried elder siblings, now working as farmhands. Minutes later, her mother emerged with a large tray and carefully set the tray before each of the early-risers. Judy carefully appraised the contents of each: Piping hot oatmeal, a bowl of fresh fruit for herself, cereal for her father and brothers.

As soon as the cereal was sat on the table, her father not looking up from the morning paper took a spoonful and attempted to speak through the crunching, "Sho wat 'bout the play?"

"Ugh, Dad. Don't talk with your mouth full."

He quickly swallowed and smiled. "Heh, sorry. So, are you all confident about the play there' Judy?"

Judy tapped the side of her head.

"Got it all right up there, huh," her father chuckled upon swallowing.

"Yeah, I guess so," she smirked and looked over her bowl, expecting to get a rise out of her father and was somewhat disappointed when he failed to take the bait. "It's a beloved classic. The fox and the lion. It's just so lucky that the Grey's chipped in so that the school could run a longer show rather than that dinky Predator and Prey thing the school's always been running. We've got the works now, local musicians and more props than you can make a stick at. The whole shebang." She felt a sense of warmth inside her as she related all of the work that went into the play, but it passed when she noticed that her father hadn't been paying attention.

"Sounds good," her father said taking his bowl to the kitchen.

"Well, that's not just it. We've had new roles to dish out. A whole new script to rehearse," Judy paused her long ears pressed flat against her head. She wanted to say more. She wanted to be noticed.

Standing out among two hundred and seventy-six siblings wasn't hard; all she had to do was be a delinquent, stay out after dark for instance. Being noticed for excellence was challenging, especially on affairs that had little to do with carrot farming.

Judy pursed her lips and pressed her long ears flat against her face. "I landed one of the lead roles," she squeaked just as her father was about to leave for the day.

"Which one?" Asked the doctor, suddenly snapping Judy back to the present.

"I was Sir Lancelot," Judy replied.

"Isn't that the lead **male** role?"

"I volunteered for it. Besides, it's a school play, everyone just played loose with casting choices."

Judy's candidness earned her a chuckle from the doctor. "I remembered seeing the play in Zootopia's District One, pricey but worth every penny," he smiled scribbling down more (largely incomprehensible) notes in spidery handwriting.

**_He's checking for memory loss, brain damage. That sort of thing._**

_I know that. Stop telling me what I already know._

**_Don't blow a gasket on me. I'm not the one who got us into this mess._**

The paper scratching came to a stop and Judy looked up just in time to witness the doctor's soft brown eyes. "That was interesting. So, what do you think of the play itself then?"

The entire theatre complex was abuzz with the voices of hundreds of excited people. Judy peeked out carefully from behind the stage curtain. Rows upon rows of people sat amongst the stands or moved between them to get to their assigned seat. The stands were abuzz with noise as the adults chatted while they waited or bought snacks and beverages before the show. She glanced to the left and saw the musicians already set up in the makeshift orchestra pits in front of the stage.

Seeing such a big crowd gathered made Judy a bit nervous, her eyes scanned the assembled audience and fell upon the section where her parents and siblings were seated. Judy swallowed nervously and ducked back behind the curtains, hoping nobody had seen her.

Cold sweat broken across Judy's brow, she had worked so hard on this for weeks and it would be tragic if something were to go wrong now. Judy scanned her surroundings making sure everything was in order. The stage she noted was divided into sections, each painstakingly decorated with a collection of beautifully handcrafted props; donations from a local theatre. This way, they didn't need a transition to change the décor between each act. Efficiency, that was something Judy could admire.

"Alright students," her teacher spoke, snapping Judy from her thoughts. "Let me just run you through the steps one last time."

There was much groaning to be heard across the room. Nonetheless, Judy listened intently.

"Always remember, if you forget the lines, just improvise. If someone skips their lines don't try to correct them. Remember, we may notice if somebody doesn't follow the script, but the audience won't as long as you keep the dialogue flowing. Try and pick up from where your partner has left off."

Judy nodded and her teacher smiled back at the eager young faces facing her.

"Good, now get ready. I have to see to the opening of the show, so be ready and on set in no more than ten minutes."

Judy wasted no time donning her highly stylised white armour costume. She took a moment to admire how heroic and charming she looked before scrambling into her assigned position to wait for her cue with bated breath. Already, the musicians, most of whom were volunteers were beginning to play and at once the chatter from the audience died down as the show began. Despite the curtains being partially open the darkness behind revealed nothing to the audience. The music stopped and her teacher's voice took over, ringing out crystal clear throughout the enormous room from its acoustics.

"Now without adieu allow me to present for the first time ever in Bunnyburrow: The lion and the fox!"

A spotlight illuminated a young ram dressed in the clothes of a stereotypical medieval courtier complete with a feather cap. Clearing his throat the ram narrated: "Eons ago, when the world was new, all prey was ruled over by two rulers; a fearsome lion reined on one end and a sly fox on the other. Each desired to defeat their rival in power, but neither side could prevail until one day."

The music exploded into a crescendo as the curtains parted way revealing a darkened stage with nought but darkness. The music died down as the spotlight turned off and the main lights flooded the stage revealing a rather stylised lion costume manned by the actors underneath, standing amidst what passed for a royal court.

A bunny bound up on stage dressed in the getup of a diplomat's gown which earned him the attention of both the 'lion' and his assembled court. Unfurling a long scroll, the bunny began to read: "To the illustrious King Goldenmane, your rival the fox has issued forth a challenge to you on who shall rule the prey. It shall be settled by proxy: a trial of combat between champions with the loser forfeiting his life."

A cold sweat broke across Judy's brow; she had after all the most lines and simply wouldn't know what to do if her fellow actors didn't follow theirs. Luckily, her luck had held out and she heaved a sigh of relief when her fellow actor got the words right even if the tone had sounded very strange from the mouth of a messenger, to be sure.

"But my liege, I beg of you to reconsider, the fox would surely lie," spoke another bunny dressed in the robes of a stereotypical court mage, complete with pointy hat.

"No!" the 'lion' commanded. "A champion must be found from among my subjects and cleave in twain the champion of the fox. Send for Sir Lancelot the Brave. Entrust onto him this task, slay the fox's champion so that I may rid myself of my rival forevermore."

Judy, sensing her cue, stepped enthusiastically on scene. "Have no fear my liege, I'll find the champion of the wretched fox and bring her to justice!"

The lights went out for a short moment, and when they were turned back on Judy was the only one still on stage. The lion's courtroom stood deserted with less lighting focused on that area than before. Judy, now alone hopped about with a spear in hand.

Judy strode across the stage, taking roundabout routes around props and pieces of décor till at last, she came up to a part of the stage that quite obviously represented a mountain with a mine entrance leading into it. Looking one way then the next Judy exclaimed: "This here is the Wildlands. Of that, there can be no doubt. But will the champion of the fox be about? They say that he's as sly as his master but true as that may be, he'll never outwit the likes of me."

Suddenly, a small figure whose face was obscured by a shawl suddenly emerged on the scene and casually intersected the path Sir Lancelot was currently on. "Halt!" Judy declared jabbing her lance toward the stranger. "I, Ju-ehem-Sir Lancelot have come to put an end to the fox's champion: Reginald the Sly. Are you he?" Judy demanded.

"Forgive me, chivalrous knight. I am but a poor widow living in the mountains yonder," the robed figure replied as she motioned towards the mountains in the distance.

Judy scoffed and raised her chin. "Verily, for one as stringy as thee wouldn't be much of a challenge. Now tell me quick, have you heard of the whereabouts of Reginald the sly?"

"Ah, you are indeed fortunate, brave knight. The villain you seek has made his lair in this very cave." The robed figure motioned at the mine entrance with a nod of his head.

"You're sure of this?" Judy asked as she peered inside.

"Of course, would I lie?" Spoke the robed figure, "Beware, brave knight, for Reginald has chosen his refuge well. In his cave there are many narrow passages, a fine weapon such as yours will surely be caught."

Judy threw the stranger a few scrutinizing glances, then looked straight at the audience with a shrug sliding the pointy prop spear down a trapdoor and replacing it with a foam sword. Looking at the hooded stranger who jumped back with visible surprise. "How else will us prey succeed? With tooth or claw? I think not. A knight must always come well prepared."

Without warning, the hooded figure whipped out a plastic toy crossbolt and shot Judy in the arm with a foam bolt. "Poison!" She moaned in mock pain before dropping to one knee. Slowly, Judy rose to her feet and pointed her foam sword at the stranger with her remaining good arm. "What is this trickery? Show yourself villain and let the justice of King Goldenmane come down upon your head, whoever ye may be!"

The hooded figure let out a diabolical laugh as she stepped off to one side simultaneously addressing Judy and the collective audience. "Whoever I may be? Why you're thicker than I thought. It is, of course, I, Reginald the Sly." The hooded figure drew back her hood to reveal a young ewe. "Did you think I wouldn't recognise the 'Great' Sir Lancelot," she declared drawing a foam sword of her own.

Judy made a show of indignation as she paced about the ewe, clutching a 'paralysed' arm "You heathen! You devil, it'll be off with your head!"

"Have at thee!" the ewe declared swinging her foam sword in wide and exaggerated swings. Judy parried with her sword arm and delivered a riposte of her own as the pair danced about each other in a choreographed fight sequence.

However, as the fight wore on it was clear that the 'poison' was taking its effect on Sir Lancelot. Judy's swings became slower enabling her foe to land several blows on her armour. Eventually, panting and barely able to stand Sir Lancelot was knocked down with one swift blow from the pommel of the ewe's blade.

"Brave Sir Lancelot, the poison will wear off in a few hours, for I'm no murderer. But I must have your lance as proof of your demise to the fox. Then he'll release my family from his clutches." With that, the ewe took off with the prop spear, leaving behind a 'paralysed' Sir Lancelot.

The lighting dimmed and Judy swiftly rose from her supine position before shuffling over to her next assigned spot. On cue, a crescendo of music erupted from the seated musicians, fast-paced in comparison to the lion. A spotlight flicked on and illuminated a fox costume manned by multiple performers beneath came into view. It slinked about the décor making repeated circles about the young ewe before coming to an abrupt stop along with the music,

Reginald immediately knelt before the 'fox', spear in hand.

"Ho ho, what do we have here?" the 'fox' exclaimed.

"Now that I have done as we agreed. Free my family."

"And give up and easy meal? I think not," the 'fox' spat.

"Unhand the innocent villain," Judy cried out.

The 'fox' looked one way then the next trying to discern the source of the voice, as did the audience. The spotlight shot over to where Judy stood, foam sword in hand. Stupefied, the fox stood its ground and consequently took repeated blows from Judy's foam sword. Reginald soon joined in the assault and the wounded 'fox' was eventually driven behind a piece of décor where Judy dealt the 'finishing blow' with her spear. Splattered in entrails of ketchup stained toilet paper Judy emerged victorious with the fox costume and wore it about her neck like some neolithic hunter-gatherer.

"Verily you have done me a favour, Sir Lancelot," Reginald said to her nemesis.

"Not so fast villain," Judy demanded shifting into an aggressive stance. "You have fooled me once but not again."

"Then bind me," the ewe offered with both her arms extended. "Take both the fox and me as proof of your victory to King Goldenmane."

Judy looked at the ewe then to the audience, shrugged and did as instructed, binding her prisoner with a length of rope about both her outstretched arms and bringing her along till the lion's court.

"My liege," Sir Lancelot declared dropping to one knee.

The actors beneath the lion costume took a step back at the sight of the fox costume wrapped about Judy's neck. "Sir Lancelot has taken care of the fox all by herself and wishes to do the same for you," Reginald declared.

Looking one way then the next, the 'lion' trembled before backing up and darting behind a set of props where it failed to re-emerge. Sir Lancelot made a show of looking for her liege behind the props before apparently giving up, freeing her rival and giving the ewe a big hug before bowing to the audience.

The spotlight then shot over to the courtier who upon clearing the throat "And the lion was never heard from forevermore and prey and prey lived in harmony from then on."

"Judy?" spoke the doctor.

"What?" she shot back.

"I think you spaced out there."

"Oh, I did? Is that bad?"

"Not at all. It's normal to take a minute. Can I ask what you thought of the play?"

Judy rubbed her chin thoughtfully. "The prey tolerated the predators above them since they offered protection from the other. But in the end, both of them got the prey to do the fighting for them so that protection meant diddly-squat," Judy looked up, shaking her head. "The worst part is they got away with it. They got away doing that for a really long time since none of the prey would stand up to them even though they could and really should."

"But they got their dues, in the end, didn't they?" the doctor asked.

"Not really, I mean only the fox really did. The lion got away."

"Have you ever considered the allegories the play was referring to?"

"Like what?"

"Hmm, how do I put it. The writers intended it to be satire. The fox was cunning but double-crossed the wrong person. The lion was strong but was a coward at heart and feared being exposed for it which he ultimately was," the doctor suggested.

"I guess that's one way of looking at it," Judy mumbled.

"Alright, moving on, after that your friends said you were in an altercation involving Gideon Grey. What can you tell me about that?"

Still basking in the warm afterglow of the rapturous applause from the audience, Judy found herself outside enjoying the midsummer sun. Unfortunately, a sudden commotion snapped her from her daydream.

Swivelling her long ears to the source of the voice she found herself slipping away from her parent's stall toward a secluded spot on the school grounds where she found none other than Gideon Grey harassing a group of her classmates over their prize tickets for the school fair.

Judy saw Gideon snatch a handful of tickets from Sharla, a young ewe and shoved her to the ground with a malicious laugh.

At this Judy could stay an observer no longer. "Hey, leave her alone," she demanded; taking long strides over to the fox where he stood.

Gideon swiftly stuffed the collection of tickets into his set of overalls "What are you gonna do about it? It's just like you said in yer little stage-play. Us predators used to rule over prey. It's in our dunna."

"I think you mean DNA?" corrected a nearby weasel that appeared to be Gideon's cohort.

"Don't tell me what I know, Travis." Gideon snapped at his lackey, sounding for all the world like the 'fox' from the play.

Adopting the persona of a confident knight in shiny white armour, Judy extended her hand. "Kindly return my friend's tickets, please."

"Or what?" Gideon demanded, giving Judy a shove, causing her to stagger. "What silly little world are you living in where you think a little bunny like you can be a hero."

"You don't scare me, Gideon," Judy started adamantly, taking another confident stride forward to face her tormentor. Unfortunately, Judy's defiance didn't go unpunished. Without warning, Judy found herself on her back; the wind knocked right out of her. Shaking her head to regain her senses, Judy found herself staring directly at row upon row of razor-sharp incisors.

"Look at that twitching Bunny nose," Travis commented with a forced snigger to please his master.

Spurred on by his sycophant, Gideon Grey took another step forward. "What's the matter little bunny, " he chided. "Are you gonna –"

That was as far as he got before Judy lashed out with both her hind legs, straight into the fox's face. Gideon staggered back rubbing his face more out of surprise than pain.

"You don't know when to quit do ya," Gideon growled before he lashed out. Judy yelped as claws raked her face, just above the eye. "I want you to remember this anytime you think you're more than a stupid, dumb, carrot farming dumb bunny," Gideon declared before marching away, leaving Judy curled up in a ball.

Her classmates ran up to her. "Are you okay Judy?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Here you go," Judy declared holding up a fistful of tickets she retrieved from Gideon's pocket.

"You're bleeding Judy," her classmate commented and sure enough as soon as Judy had reached up to her forehead, she felt a sharp stinging sensation and noticed a trickle of blood smeared across her arm.

"Looks bad. I'll just head back to the school, gotta find something to stop the bleeding. If my folks ask for me just say I forgot something."

"It was just an argument that got out of hand, nothing more," Judy asserted to the doctor.

"Are you sure? That's not what your friends were saying. They said he assaulted you. Another few inches and he could've taken out your eye."

Judy kept silent.

**_He wants something to work with._**

_Like what? What should I tell him?_

**_Tell him something he wants to hear._**

"Look, in the Hopps family, we're a big believer of second chances. Whatever wrong thing Gideon did. That was in the past. I'm not angry at him so I don't see why anyone else should be. Besides, it's like you said he saved my life. So, I can certainly cut him some slack if just for that."

"Hmm, I see," the doctor mumbled. "Do you remember anything immediately before the incident?"

Nursing her injured face, Judy returned to the school auditorium which stood eerily empty, with most of its former occupants outside enjoying the school fair. Ordinarily, it would have been rather well lit from the skylights above but the props onstage cast plenty of shadows giving it a somewhat sinister appearance. Undeterred, Judy clambered on stage before searching for the trapdoor that led to the first aid supplies.

She had gotten midway when she heard a floorboard creak.

Judy froze and stopped breathing. She looked one way then the other, but there were plenty of hiding spots amid the stage props. Her long ears swivelled every which way as she stepped in. However, they failed to detect any more noise besides the thumping of her heart.

Satisfied that the noise had been a figment of her overactive imagination, Judy breathed and felt the tightness around her chest lighten, but it also brought about a renewed throb of pain from her forehead which reminded Judy of what she had set out to accomplish.

Judy worked on her hands and knees and eventually her search proved fruitful. Her wandering hands soon found the trapdoor entrance and she pulled it open revealing nought but inky blackness. Reaching through the hole, she tried looking for the pull cord for the lights and once again she heard the floorboards creak behind her.

"Here here little bunny," Gideon's distinctive tone rang out from behind her and Judy spun around just in time to make out the silhouette of a foot hurtling into her side before falling into the blackness.

"Take your time Judy, what do you remember?" Asked the doctor; snapping Judy back to the morning light that shone through the cream white shades that graced the psychologist's office.

"It was dark, I was looking for bandages. I tripped and fell down a trapdoor. That's all I remembered." Judy stated, hoping that her obfuscation would drive the topic away.

"This is a very serious matter Judy, are you absolutely sure no one pushed you?"

"Yes, no one else was there."

"Judy, what you say here is confidential. Hippocratic oath and all that." mentioned the doctor.

Judy was rather taken aback by that. Her interviewer was more perceptive than she thought. She hated underestimating people like that. Judy paused, sensing she wasn't going to get away from this without providing a satisfactory answer.

"It's like this: Gideon Grey's father runs the town and I can't risk my parent's livelihoods making accusations like this. I fell by myself down the trapdoor and I saw no one. That's all."

**A/N: On a side note, I'm opening up my story for OCs for some of the residents of Bunnyburrow and for Judy's other family members (beside the named ones). If I like your characters I'll try and incorporate them within the story and offer full acknowledgement for them.**

**Toodles!**


	3. Compromises

**Compromises**

If you have a body, I should probably apologize for how confusing this is for you: I lack a proper frame of reference to what it's like to have one anymore.

If you can't already tell - I'm dead. Oh, and how did I die? It's embarrassing really. It started with finding my toast smouldering away, Then the next thing I knew as I was fiddling with the bread slot was a loud **GKZZZCH**.

As a drifting mind without a body, I was without a frame of reference. I couldn't know how long I was there, nor would I have been able to care. However, somehow in this state of mindless consciousness, I had registered a sudden presence: a will acting upon me from outside...

I couldn't really comprehend what was going on at first. Only that as a disembodied consciousness I was vulnerable to external forces, which would have degraded me until I dissipated into nothingness.

Instead, by some cosmic stroke of luck I'd found myself in a stable environment, and I had just enough cognition left to know that I should start investigating my surroundings.

But I found that I couldn't open my eyes. Not only that, but my whole body just didn't seem to want to listen to me at all. I could feel it, at least most of it, through a sort of numbness, but my attempts to flex even the tiniest of muscles were simply useless.

I didn't panic. At least, not at first. You see, I read somewhere about this whole 'sleep paralysis' thing: the mind is semi-awake but the body remains sleeping. It's unusual, but no cause for terror.

I waited.

I could hear soft steady breathing, feel the slow rise of my chest, my calm heartbeat thumping away the seconds. As time passed, I slowly became more aware of my surroundings. There was phone chatter, not-too-distant voices, the humming of machinery and a clock ticked somewhere overhead. It took a bit of getting used to but the auditory cues coalesced into a single picture.

I was in a hospital of some kind.

That was kind of expected. I assumed the kooky old landlady had called the ambulance.

That was when I felt my tail twitch involuntarily. That new extension of my spine and coil of muscles fascinated rather than horrified me. Curiosity drove me to traverse down the rabbit hole (no pun intended) to see what else was different. This was pretty much where I became extremely cognizant of the drastic changes in my physique. Not only was I now in possession of a tail but I had long bunny ears and was female now apparently.

HOLY SHIT!?

I had been scared before of course, but never had I been terrified. What exactly could I compare this too? Pure distilled fear ran through my veins, it was so close to . . . I couldn't ideate how I'd . . . If this wasn't . . . If I were . . . permanently . . .

No, I didn't even want to consider it. I didn't want to stress myself any further. If I hadn't remembered to tell myself I was sojourning in a vivid fantasy produced by my own subconscious. I was probably laid up in an ordinary hospital bed.

That's when I realised something. Wouldn't I have awoken for real if I had been overwhelmed by fear? Wouldn't I, having realised my existence to be a dream now be able to end this nightmare and change it into a pleasant dream? No, the realisation hadn't changed a thing. The recently acquired peace tore apart like a flimsy garment as panic's dark dominion threatened to expand into me again.

My mind swam with wild theories of my lifeless body being subject to all manner of Mengele-esque experiments while I lay hapless on the operating theatre. I stayed like this for who knows how long. There was no way to measure time save the counting of heartbeats of which I had long since lost count. There was nothing to do save to eavesdrop on conversations and glean some facts about the world I lived...no existed in.

You learn a lot by listening in. I learn more about the creature whose mind I cohabited. I learn about her parents and their concerns. One thing that didn't change was my inability to interact with the world.

I made up whole histories for the voices. I tried to rearrange my memories and run through them like pages in a book.

Oh neat, a list of authors names I'd learned from. I sure bet knowing names like Plato, Freud and Nietzsche will be helpful. Now...there's that college with the advanced math that doesn't exist in this world.

Admittedly, there are worse fates to be had. But being trapped in a body that is not my own and being stuck in a strange new world isn't much of a step up. Whatever Judy doesn't focus on tends to go out of focus. Whatever she isn't listening to tends to fade into the background.

Oh, I forgot to mention that part, didn't I? Or the part where she thought I was some sort of malevolent spirit and refused to talk to me for a time. Oh, and what's that? Our body is shifting? Does it mean she's getting up? Yes, our. I refer to it as our now. It keeps me sane I guess.

I can perceive light filtering through our eyelids. Our breathing accelerates, losing its slow rhythm. Good, I was finally about to wake up. Our eyes slowly creep open to reveal an unfamiliar cramped bunkroom rather than the sterile confines of the hospital.

Judy blinked several times only to realise that she had moved here so that she wouldn't have to deal with the stairs.

She performed a sit-up, as usual without any conscious input on my part. "Tomorrow is another day, " her familiar feminine voice erupted from my larynx.

As usual, there was something off about the way it sounded, somewhat blurred yet clear as day, like I was feeling her voice rather than actually hearing it.

I miss having my own voice. I miss being able to pee standing up. I miss having a good steak Still, it's just like she said - another day. Another day not as a snarky invader but as a helpful and honest person involuntarily stuck in her head:

_**Good morning Judy.**_

"Morning," she mumbled aloud as she got ready for the day.

_**You know, you don't have to talk out loud right?**_

"Uh-huh. So, I was wondering what are you exactly? Judging by your... words, I'm guessing you're not a bunny and that you're clearly not from around here."

_**Have you ever heard of humans?**_

"I really can't say I have. So what are humans?" She tested the word, pronouncing it carefully like someone learning a new language and trying to avoid a possibly offensive mistake.

_**Physically or as a society?**_

"Oh, I don't know, just... in general, maybe? Let's just start with what you'd look like, " she mentioned as she brushed her teeth.

_**Basically we're tall, mostly hairless bipedal apes.**_

The mental image Judy conjured up was met by a wave of disapproval.

_**Oh boy, this could take a lot of work...**_

Despite their semi-constant bickering, Judy usually could rely on one thing – the voice made a good confidant for her frustrations. When they were alone, Judy found talking to the presence comforting– Judy because she had to actively hide it, and the voice because he couldn't talk to anyone else anyway.

The voice had gotten her up early as it always did. Apparently, it had attributed this to the lack of a physical form. The voice claimed to be constantly aware of the goings-on around Judy even whilst she was asleep and could be very vocal when it wanted to be. Judy was fortunate then that he tried his best to save that for when she was actually awake. While Judy slept, the voice usually settled into the recesses of her mind to ponder the mysteries of life or whatever else it didn't want to share.

Judy was glad it had awoken her when it did. She had gotten used to sleeping a little less than normal and her body's biological clock had adjusted accordingly, so she didn't fault the voice for adding a few extra hours to her day.

Besides, one of the advantages of being the earliest riser is exclusive bathroom privileges. This she supposed may have been more of a blessing than a curse on hindsight as Judy observed her dishevelled appearance in the mirror. Instinctively, she traced a finger down the slightly discoloured patch of skin on her otherwise uniformly grey-furred forehead. Already, she was beginning to suspect that her fur would never grow back over the afflicted area.

_**Hey, at the very least you look totally badass.**_

Judy's long ears swept one way then the next and picked up nothing save the sound of running water and the soft breathing of her family. "Oh it's just you, she muttered aloud. "I just couldn't get away from anyone. They wanted to ask whether I still remembered them...or compare scars or..."

_**I know. I was there remember?**_

_Yes, I know. Of course, you were. Just been feeling jumpy lately._

There was a definite curfew about staying out after dark but there was none governing how early anyone could rise in the Hopps household. Before sunrise was sketchy but seeing as Judy's parents and her oldest siblings woke up at around five no one should fault the eleven-year-old for doing the same. Besides, if questioned she could always claim it to be a side-effect of her injury.

Judy walked carefully across the linoleum and made her way out to the gazebo along with a sizeable collection of school books tucked away into a haversack. Judy's teachers were understanding. Unfortunately, an education system that had to cater to anyone from the smallest vole to the largest elephant made no exceptions for a student that had suffered a month-long hospital stay. She took a look at the task before her, gulped, flipped over to where she had left off the previous day.

_**This is stupid. If your teachers were testing your ability to catch up with curriculum a couple of quizzes would be a more objective way of testing your knowledge rather than a lengthy discourse on tangentially related topics.**_

_I know right and why exactly is the 'o' in opossum silent? It's like they were deliberately making this a lot harder for no reason._

_**Write bigger.**_

_I can't do that. They aren't stupid!_

_**It's the little things that start to add up. They won't be able to tell the difference character by character, but trust me – after a page or so it really adds up. That's why you make your letters nice and tall. That way it'll look neat and still look like you're writing more.**_

_Oh, I see. That's actually pretty smart._

_**So long as you write neatly and have all the information organised according to the checkboxes they could hardly care less.**_

_Are you sure? Won't the teachers want to see something…I don't know, a little less scientific?_

_**Oh, how cute. You'd have to try to fail in something as easy as schooling. Anyway, grades here are pretty much meaningless. Theoretically, you could fail everything and ace the standardized tests.**_

_I'm not talking about the failing part. It's just that life can get miserable when there's a teacher who singles you out._

_**There's going to be thirty other kids before they'll pick on an honour roll student. These underpaid civil servants have to grade hundreds of papers. Do you really think they're going to take out a ruler to the one good essay out of a dozen that are gibberish?**_

_How do you even know all of this?_

_**In another life and in another world I was a student too.**_

_Go figure. Slacker Syndrome is endemic throughout the multiverse._

_**Details, details. Oh, here's another idea I had. Start a new paragraph as early into the line as possible. Still the same amount of words, but more blank space.**_

_Why didn't you mention this to me before?_

_**Because we're both stupid.**_

Even though Judy worked significantly faster thanks to her natural intelligence and the essay writing tips her hands could only move so fast before it started cramping.

**Thuk-thuk-thuk-thuk**

Boredom. So much boredom. Having someone in her head who's done higher order differentiation and algebra made solving mathematical problems that relied upon guessing and checking made previously menial work into a breeze.

**Thuk-thuk-thuk-thuk**

Judy felt irritation too as the other presence in her head constantly sent a stream of increasingly hard to ignore requests to use her peripheral vision whenever the open road came into her vision. She knew her siblings were taking off for school and that in spite of making remarkable progress it would be days before her re-entry into formal schooling would not be deemed disruptive to her fellow classmates.

**Thuk-thuk-thuk-thuk**

Finally giving in, Judy looked up and watched as green and yellow grass weaved and bobbed in the faint, cool breeze. In the distance, windmills turned steadily in a monotonous rhythm. Twigs crunched on the ground behind her, but Judy didn't turn her head. Her nose twitched. She knew that scent anywhere.

**Thuk-thuk-thuk-thuk**

"Jude, could you stop that?"

Judy's eyes shot up, fixating on her brother Brad with a surprised blink.

"Whu? What? Stop what?"

**Thuk-thuk-thuk-thuk**

Brad rubbed the sides of her head while speaking, obviously annoyed. "That…thing you're doing with your thumper. It's really grating, you know."

Judy stared confused at her feet; one of which was repeatedly drumming up and down.

**Thuk-thuk-thuk-thuk**, the drumming impacts of her foot on the floor resonated into the open air. It took a moment of concentration before her foot slid back into a rest position.

"Heh, sorry."

"I know you're stressed but don't go scratching the floor that our dad made."

_**Cool, your brother has one blue and brown eye.**_

_Yes, I know. It's Heterochromia. He reminds us every chance he gets. You did that foot tapping thing somehow didn't you?_

_**I had nothing to do with that. I certainly don't want to steal your life. Heck, even if I had my actual body I wouldn't want to stay. You're just stressed out.**_

_When I'm stressed, I find somewhere dark and quiet to cool off. Sometimes, I throw up. I don't try digging through the floor._

"Anyway, I brought you some cookies," Brad offered sliding a silvery tray forward. "Can we talk?"

"Sure," Judy said scooting over to make room. Despite the unwelcome intrusion, Judy made no untoward reactions toward her elder sibling, merely observing him with an academic sort of bewilderment. The otherwise quiet and empty background of the Hopps family farm provided the perfect environment for observing his feeding habits.

"I still don't like the fact that Gideon got off without detention," Brad stopped and sighed wistfully letting his voice drop dramatically to a whisper. "But if it's of any comfort to you even the other predators are treating him like a disgrace."

"I guess being ostracized is a punishment all on its own," Judy told him nonchalantly. So…uh?" Judy's voice held a dose of concern.

"Huh? Wha' tht' Judith'…?" Brad mumbled through a mouthful of crumbs, and Judy watched with avid fascination as her brother continued to transfer ever more material into his unsated maw. His smile lay hidden underneath the heavy, squirrel-like pouches that bulged forth from his face. Miraculously, Brad pulled out of his gluttonous stupor and swallowed the half-chewed contents in a single neck-expanding gulp and licked the last crumbs from the corner of his muzzle.

"Oh," Brad gasped. "Sometimes, I forget how important it is to share!" He slid the silvery tray, which miraculously still held some product, back across the table. "Here, have some!"

Judy eyed her brother's confectionaries before gingerly picking at one. "No, it's not that. I'm not really hungry."

Brad's eyes widened along with his grin, and he immediately shovelling another handful into his mouth. "Wush wrung?"

"It's just… these cookies you've made? Well… they've burnt, badly," to illustrate Judy flipped over an irregularly-shaped disc and tapped it lightly. With a soft crepitation, a portion of the object's charred shell crumbled away into flakes. She blew the crumbs – or, perhaps more accurately, ashes – off the tray.

"Aww, don't worry about it. They're only burnt on the outside. Inside, they're completely raw, so it evens out perfectly! See?" Brad presented one of the charcoal-flavoured pastries which had had a thoughtful bite removed, revealing a dough-coloured interior.

Judy's brows knitted as she rubbed her forehead with a defeated grimace. "Eating something like that can't be healthy."

"Oh, I know that. Mom keeps lecturing us about the importance of whole grains and vegetables. She says that if I kept eating these confectionaries I might get a vitamin deficiency," Judy's pupils shrank to pinpricks as she stared at the baked goods. "But if not now then when?"

Noting his sister's disquiet Brad continued. "The reason why it turned out as it did was that someone 'borrowed' the cookbook and so I thought to myself baking can't be all that hard. All I had to do was recreate the recipe from memory."

Judy chuckled into both hands watching the last of the ill-baked cookies disappear.

"Anyway, lesson learnt: From now on, by the book." Brad belched loudly then wiped his crumb-filled muzzle took on a curious, pensive look. "I only wish all our problems were so easily solved like the one with our parents."

"Oh, yeah. You were going to tell me about that. Is it as bad as I think it is or worse?"

"Worse," Brad continued to play with the sole surviving cookie. "Gideon's dad came in this morning, looking really uncomfortable. He said he needed to set things right and had trouble saying what it was. It took a bit of eavesdropping but what I found out was: he wanted to give us a gift."

Judy made no secret of her surprise, gasping loudly. "Do we really need the money that bad?"

Brad rested her hand on her chin as she counted the family farm's recent calamities, "There was that time where our well water turned blood-red, that freak hail storm and something about that real-life swarm of locusts..."

Judy's mouth hung open.

Brad scratched his chin "Anyway, the point is the family farm is in a financially precarious situation. Our parents wanted a short-term loan to settle the bills, invest in some automation and upgrade their medical insurance policy to cover medical insurance and this is where Gideon's dad came in."

"So, what when wrong?"

"Can you believe it? Dad said the family wasn't some… 'charity case'… whatever that means! They wouldn't budge even after Gideon's dad explained that it wasn't a problem for him to give the money. Mum actually said, right to his face that they'd rather lose the farm than being reduced to taking handouts. That makes no sense at all because it's not begging if you didn't ask for it in the first place."

"Wow. I guess I never thought about how rough the carrot farm has had it. So, how much money did our parents need, anyway?"

"Forty-five thousand dollars."

Judy gasped afresh.

**Toot! Toot!**

"And that'll be the school bus," Brad said. "I best be going on before the choir conductor accuses me of playing hooky again. Now, just one last question."

"Yes...?" Judy asked.

He pointed to the dull black circle still sitting on the tray. "Are you gonna eat that?"

It was nearly nine in the morning when Bonnie Hopps had realised there was still an unfinished portion of breakfast and had gone out to find Judy, still furiously clearing away problem after problem.

"Still busy catching up," she mumbled motioning to a thick stack of books studded with post-it notes and an equally sizeable pile of partially completed worksheets and assignments.

"Don't go starving yourself on account of school," her mother replied setting down a sandwich before her daughter. "It ain't worth it."

"I think you're right," Judy replied grabbing the sandwiches off the plate. "Can we talk?"

"Sure, just walk with me. You can eat along the way," Judy took a big bite and at once flavour exploded in her mouth. The tangy taste of greens washed over her tongue with all the vibrancy that hospital food lacked.

_**I would prefer a steak.**_

_Hey, my body, my rules and for your information I actually like it._

Bonnie trod through the family farm and eventually came to rest beneath a large and leafy walnut tree at the summit of an otherwise-nondescript hill. Beneath its boughs, she deposited the baskets of carrots with a simple yet eminently effective toss of her head and cracked open the storage shed which stored the family's produce before they made it to the market.

"Brad said we're having money issues."

"Darn it, that was supposed to be a private conversation! You know, a secret!" Steam flew from her nostrils and her cheeks flushed. Her sudden motion wound up displacing one of the baskets, making a mess of the once orderly pile of carrots.

"Even though Brad means well he misses the really obvious things. It can make him seem insensitive." Judy said as she righted the overturned basket and began retrieving scattered carrots one-by-one. "So, when are we moving to the poorhouse?"

"Judy!"

"What?" she shot back sending a carrot arcing into the basket.

"We ain't in the poorhouse!" Bonnie pressed her nose to her daughter's, storm clouds roiling in her eyes. "We don't even need the money that bad!"

"But Brad said–"

"It ain't good, but it ain't the end of the world either," Bonnie snapped. "We might have to sell off a part of the farm to keep the rest going. A part. Even then, if we just pull together and keep the ship sailing we're gonna be able to buy it back in a couple of years. I just asked the Grey's for a loan to save on the hassle." The matriarch of the Hopps family snorted and busied herself with picking up wayward vegetation once more, though her eyes seemed to dampen slightly.

"I don't get it," Judy voiced, as she reached down to retrieve some of the fallen vegetables which had wound its way into the tangle of roots and found that her smaller hands were far better suited for the task than her mother's. "Did you try the bank?"

An angry blush crept on Bonnie's face. "I did." She swallowed something bitter. "They didn't want to give us another loan. They went through our files and said it was too 'high-risk'." She slowly spun around, searching, but, with Judy's assistance, all the vegetables had been successfully corralled.

"Hmm." Judy rubbed her chin. "We probably should've written to the local senator. According to the electoral college system our votes are worth roughly four times more than neighbouring Podunk which has traditionally been a stronghold for the conservatives. That is if it happened to be an election year."

"If you say so," Bonnie grunted as she hefted one of the filled baskets. Don't help me much now, does it?"

"Huh, I guess not."

"You all right?" Judy asked as Bonnie deposited the produce inside the storage cellar with a tired groan that was equal parts emotional weariness as physical exhaustion.

"Oh no, it'll be I'll be better when I can find somebody to lend us forty-five big ones."

"Then why didn't you just take the gift?" Judy pressed.

"Because the Hopps aren't charity cases! It's a matter of principle," she protested.

"I get it. It's self-sufficiency. It's about a sense of family pride in your own abilities, and not forcing your problems on other people. Compromising your principles would be giving up an important part of yourself."

"Huh, that about sums it up yes."

As the last of the carrots were secured inside, mother and daughter exited, closing the cellar doors behind them. Judy shielded her eyes, appearing strangely wistful for a few moments, head tilt. When she spoke again, her usual flippant cheer had been replaced with a thoughtful, compassionate gravitas. "There's nothing shameful in accepting help in a time of need," Judy mentioned gently rubbing her agitated mother's back.

The lapine drew a long breath, a slight shudder transiting her damp shoulders. "I... I know, Judy. And the truth is: I'm really grateful for your help." Her irises glistened as she spoke "I know there's no shame in asking for help but taking that blood money. It's just wrong."

A moment of serenity elapsed as two bunnies stood side-by-side in the shade, the passage marked by the languid sway of leaves in a lightly-scented evening breeze rolling over the fields that were the Hopps' livelihood; her home; her pride.

The farm bunny wiped something away from the corner of her eyes, then inhaled the gentle wind, energising her features. "Hey, if it's not too much to ask, could you help me out with a couple more baskets before the rest of your brothers and sisters get back from school."

_**Look, if I help you save the farm does it mean you'll have steak?**_

_I'll consider it._

_**Oof, you drive a hard bargain. I'll do it.**_

"I have a different proposal mum."

Rolling her eyes Bonnie smiled. "Sure thing, Judy. So long as it's quick. Whaddaya have in mind?"

"I'm going to save our farm!"

"Uh... come again?"

"I'm going to save our farm!" Judy echoed perfectly.

One of Bonnie's eyelids slid lower in suspicion. "You've got my attention. What's the plan?"

"Oh uhm, I gotta go to the library. I kinda need the computers for research and I might not make it back till its really late-"

Rolling her eyes once more "What are the rules young lady?" Bonnie asked tapping her foot.

"Again? Fine, I'll be back before 10.30pm. I won't let a new driver get me home and I won't go with anyone whom you don't know," Judy listed before her head snapped up. "I ain't stupid mum."

"It's for your own good," her mother corrected. "Now what else dear?"

"You must know where I am are at all times," Judy recited in a monotone. "I'll drop you a call from the library telephone."

Bonnie smiled in the full knowledge that her daughter's word was gold and she wouldn't have it any other way.

Judy made sure to take out a fair bit of funds and with a coin pouch full to bursting she made her way out to the library. Fortunately, being a school day meant that apart from a few retirees the building was quiet which was just the way she wanted it. The law books and finance textbooks she had collected from the adult sections raised more than a few eyebrows though she quickly learnt to conceal them behind comic books to avoid attracting any unnecessary scrutinising attention.

_**Ironic, I did the same thing in reverse.**_

It took hours spent going through years of data on the farm's finances, contractual agreements followed by degrees of deliberation over the relative merits of Calibri and Times New Roman before Judy had finished a drafting a document that wouldn't look out of place in Lemming Brothers.

It was only when her belly began to growl that Judy began to realise she had worked through lunch and had yet to deliver a call which she then did saying she needed to head over to a friend's house which technically wasn't a lie before dashing out document in hand.

Ivy and ferns grew through the crevices of the old winding stone path which led directly to her destination. The Grey family manor was flanked by rows of trees crowned in crimson, swaying gently to the chilly autumn wind that gave its occupant. At its threshold stood the delicate marble fountain, the soft gurgling of the clear water melodic as it resonated in the surrounding silence.

Judy hopped over to the intercom and pressed on the buzzer.

_**Remember to walk in there like you own the place**_

_I'm just hoping it'll work out like you said it would._

"C'mon pick up, " Judy mumbled as she stood on tiptoes before the camera mounted above the camera to capture her rather prominent surgical scar.

A loud buzz was heard and the gate swung open. She was in. All she had to do was present her case. Their home was stereotypical of the new rich: a massive display of wealth. There was no tact, technique or taste whatsoever. Judy would have done a better job, and she certainly hadn't grown up surrounded by wealth and refinement.

The old wooden floor creaked as she stepped across the threshold of the ageing house. In the middle of the floor sat a cheap mat which hid years of wear from countless footsteps. Judy felt a wave of claustrophobia as she found herself in what would ordinarily be a spacious living room if not from the fact that it was by and large filled with shelves upon shelves of Bric-à-Brac accumulated over time to present a facade of refinement.

Sitting on the couch were two women, both a little older than Judy's mom. Across from the women sat a beaver in workman's overalls. He wore khaki slacks and a khaki shirt, neatly pressed but without starch, and polished work boots.

It took a moment but looks of recognition crossed their faces as they spotted Judy walk past. She lowered her head feeling slightly self-conscious about being so well recognised and was quickly ushered in to the waiting office where she came face to face with a bright red fox dressed in a casual chequered shirt. A slightly tarnished nameplate sat in front of him: Rowan Grey

"Who are those people?" Judy asked.

"Oh, they work for me. The older man runs his warehouses, and the women are the managers of the restaurants. And as you arrived, you saw the construction supervisor who is working on a road project about fifty miles from here."

"Does this go on all the time?" Judy asked.

"Not always, but quite often," Gideon's father said as he pulled up a chair and invited her to sit by him. "A side effect; I'm afraid of declaring my home to be an office. But enough on tax avoidance. Did your folks change their minds?"

"Sir, I know there's no shame in asking for help when you need it, but there're still some lines the Hopps just aren't willing to cross, no matter the stakes. Giving us a loan when the bank won't touch us with a ten-foot pole – we'll remember that. But just taking money from a business partner – tens of thousands of dollars just like that? it's too far."

"Would your parents accept the money as a gift if I made it out to be a to be a loan to make them feel good about it, and write it off as a gift?"

"No, Sir, it wouldn't. My folks can't start calling something by a different name to make it acceptable. You can call a pig a duck but it won't make a lick of difference to the pig. The money's either a loan or a gift."

Judy presented her document before the fox who blinked as if the neatly stapled document held some dangerous creature between its pages.

"To be fair, most of this was just standard T&Cs I took from a standard loan agreement. The interest rate will be one point two five per cent annual, compounded monthly. I understand that this is lower than most any bank in the country but if you look at paragraph seventeen, you'll see the breakdown of how an expansion of our farm will be mutually beneficial assuming the standard margins you're making on our produce."

"Anything else?"

"One more request Sir," Judy asked. "I want a job."

"Done," Gideon's father said. "I hope this will set things right between us. Starting tomorrow, you'll ride down to the local supermart and you can begin working. We'll discuss the terms of your employment then and I'll pass this down to my accountant for his review."

"I'll take it," Judy replied smiling.

_**Where are we going? This ain't the way home**_.

_It's just like I promised. You deserve a little treat._

It wasn't long before Judy headed over to the local hotel: the only establishment in town that catered to the nuanced palette of a predator. Judy headed off to the bathroom.

The local newspapers had made her somewhat of a celebrity so somehow she had to mask her distinctive scar to remain incognito. Donning on a flowery hat, Judy placed her hands on her hip, satisfied at her handiwork.

_**You know what, I can't let you go through with this.**_

_No, it's okay. At first, all I thought about was myself. I haven't stopped to think about how you've been stuck here, struggling to cope. In a sense, we're both victims here. Besides, I'd be lying to say I've never been curious myself and I missed lunch so we're both really starved._

Judy stood upon her front toes and tapped on the bell which she was just tall enough to reach. "Good morning, little miss. How may I help you today?" the goat waiter asked.

"Do you serve predators here...Lambert?" Judy asked reading the goat's nametag.

"Yes, but they have their own private section so you won't have to see any unsavoury business."

"Quite on the contrary, I've unique dietary requirements. Corner booth please," Judy slid over the heavily-laden coin pouch to demonstrate her in "This should about cover it. I'll have house steak with extra eggs.

"Right this way, please."

The waiter soon set a plate before Judy and a glass of orange juice. Naturally, the waiter stood back watching curiously as to see exactly what the mad hare he had just offered meat to would do.

"If you need anything else, Miss."

_**What the fu-**_

_Language._

_**This ain't a steak.**_

"Sorry waiter, but I have friends who are knowledgeable on the subject and this here," she said jabbing at the off-white lump of freezer-burnt alligator flesh. "This thing. . .is definitely not a steak."

The cook went wide and he took a step backwards. "I'm sorry, Miss if it's not to your satisfaction we can make it again. But you're sure you want meat?"

"Yes, I do. Bring me some eggs and alligator jerky too."

It wasn't long before the aroma of sizzling flesh assaulted Judy's nose. Strangely enough, it smelt heavenly. With far less trepidation than before, Judy took one strip of jerky and shoved it in into her mouth. Immediately realising if it ever existed, she had found nirvana. The salt from the grill was quick to spread over her tongue. Judy's tongue swirled all over the lump of flesh was she drained the last of the grit and grease from the morsel.

Experimentally, Judy began to chew and found her unusual meal just crunchy enough to work with her large flat teeth. An explosion of spices and flavour were released from the jerky. The hints of salt and peppercorn were enough to make Judy's knees tremble in orgasmic bliss. It felt like she was never truly alive before this moment.

As she chewed more juices were released from the jerky and the slightly salty flavours of gator flesh spread over her tongue.

What made the entire event more memorable was the look of shock on the waiter's face as Judy shovelled mouthful after mouthful of eggs into her muzzle before wiping off the yolk off with half a dozen strips of jerky that she then ate.

_Wait, do they hurt the gator?_

_**You know what, I don't really know. I mean some activists make a big fuss every now and then.**_

_Is this what I've been missing out on all this time!? I still swear you did something to me since this should feel so wrong but my gosh the taste._

_**Are you okay?**_

_It's strange. At first, I didn't really want to eat it. Now I can't wait to finish and order more. If this didn't blow a hole in my budget, I would be doing this more often._

The scrambled eggs vanished rapidly under the assault of Judy's fork. She downed half the orange juice to cleanse her palette and got back to eating. Before long, the formerly famished bunny was licking the plate clean.

Soon the bill was delivered and Judy made sure to pay in full but not before _exhaling_ a large meat-scented breath at the waiter's face before leaving.

By the fading evening light, Judy boarded a bus and headed back home every so often longingly stealing glances back toward town and licking her chops.

_Hey you're not so had after all. Maybe I'll try out more human things and maybe show you some bunny-related things while we're at it. You like movies? We have those and we can have soccer too. One of the best things about a big family is that we never have a shortage of players. Oh, and I can go see a rodeo too. I bet you'll like that._

_**You know what...I think I would.**_

A dumbfounded Stu Hopps only nodded faintly as he sat and grasped the contract. Methodically, his eyes perused the document from the first line to the last. Although the text was hardly small, the patriarch of the Hopps family slid out a pair of rectangular-rimmed reading glasses and read the clauses detailing seemingly every possible eventuality.

"There's an option for us to make payments early without penalty," Judy excitedly pointed out. "This section here describes grace periods and down here you have the late-payment penalties which follow the standard ERA formula, so no surprises there."

"I know Judy just me finish reading."

Judy fell silent, still radiating excitement but keeping utterly silent as her parents smartly exercised their due diligence with all the sobriety the circumstance demanded. By the time she finished, the sun had fully set and the Hopps' family farm was bathed in twilight.

"You still need to sign it to make it official. Just leave your initials beside the interest rate and the term, then sign and write the date on the dotted line. It's a big decision; take all the time you need."

"Are you kidding'? I know a good deal when I see one and I ain't about to look this gift horse in the mouth," Stu exclaimed and with a few quick strokes, the deal was sealed. Glancing at the fading light of the sky, the farm bunny collected himself, caressed the edge of the loan agreement, as if to make sure it was real, then carefully folded and tucked away the precious farm saving document.

Judy..." her father spoke at last, breaking out into a grin, "This here's exactly what I need; what the farm needs! And all this time I'd been working' up the nerve to go to the big city for a loan – you can imagine I wasn't looking' forward to that. I could just about kiss you right now."

"Aww!" Judy blushed, then held out her cheek.

Her father gave her a look. "I didn't mean... Heh, aren't you a bit too old for that now..." His hand flew behind his back. "Ah, what the heck!" Without further ado, he threw his still-waiting daughter into a hug, planting a quick peck on her cheek along the way.

They held that embrace.

* * *

**AN: Brad Hopps by stevenuniversefanz37**

**Please do let me know if you'll like me to feature your OC.**


	4. Kafkaesque

**Kafkaesque**

The dining table was covered in disorganised piles of paper and noting her father's presence Judy gave him a quick hug. "Morning dad," she whispered noting the pen marks on his face.

"Your teacher called. She said you aced your last emotional intelligence test. Well done." He beamed with pride.

Judy merely nodded politely. Of course, she had along with every one of her subjects. It wasn't hard when the averages kept being dragged down by people who couldn't read a facial expression to save their lives. Her father's pride felt undeserved. It spoke of a lack of faith.

She would much prefer if things had gone back to the way they had been– a parental expectation she would do her best and comments for correction. Still, Judy loved her parents so she put up with their babying.

"I've got this job," she explained. "If that's okay?"

"Yes, I know," Stu Hopps said trying to sound casual.

"Did I do something wrong?" Judy asked.

"You didn't do anything wrong," Stu said. "It's the school superintendent. They wanted to give you another placement test. Did you know they raised the ability requirements yet again?"

"I've heard about it," Judy said stiffly.

"You gotta score at least a ninety-eight on the IQ test," Stu said worriedly. "Plus, nowadays it's not just senses, coordination and intelligence you need to pass. They're these new-fangled tests for detecting diseases even when people don't show symptoms yet. I'm just so worried they might blacklist you, long after we thought you cleared it years ago."

"Excuse me, one moment."

"Gideon's dad said he would be picking you up afterwards for your first day of work," Stu called up as his daughter bolted into the bathroom, locked the door before dry retching into the porcelain throne.

_**I thought being dead would mean I wouldn't have to deal with this.**_

_See what I mean when I tell you that I throw up when stressed._

_**Back to school then?**_

_For your information, I actually like school._

_**You know, now that you're heading back there you probably should make a favourable impression with the boss's son.**_

_So, I'm supposed to take the moral high ground here?_

_**Think about it, the saintly former victim willing forgive. He'll practically worship the ground you stand on. Who knows, you could very well end up marrying up in life.**_

_I hate it when you're right. But I would never consider marrying a fox. My parents would probably disown me and not mention the little matter of our...size differences._

_**Why not, do you have anyone else in your life?**_

_Not at the moment. But it's not because I'm scared of intimacy. You see, I'm rather inexperienced at this whole relationships thing. You know all those extra-curricular I took? _

_**Yeah?**_

_That came with a drawback. You see, I've missed every single one of the optional sex-ed classes._

_**Gosh, do I have to explain the birds and the bees to you? You see when a man and a woman love each other...or a doe and a buck in this case-**_

"N-no!" Judy shook her head furiously. She chewed on her lip when she realised she had said it aloud. "I know all the basics. You see, there was this buck in school...a fellow police cadet. I was pretty into him. So, he kissed me, behind the bleachers and..."Judy froze up as if she'd not quite worked out how to finish her sentence. "It was bad. Our teeth sort of clicked together and..."

_**Did you admit to said 'victim' that this was your first time?**_

"Pfft, 'Little Miss Hopps, gymnast, junior police cadet, amateur botanist and doesn't know how to kiss.' How do you think that would've gone down?"

"Hey, you alright in there?!" Stu Hopps called from outside.

"Yeah fine. Just gotta head on over to the greenhouse to pick up something then I'll be off!"

She heard footfalls and heaved a sigh of relief. All this talk about relationships made her think of how hot and sweaty she could get from the trip and her rendezvous with her favourite inanimate friend - Mr shower nozzle. Not whilst thinking about foxes though, because that would just be silly.

Basking in the warm afterglow of the shower, Judy found herself struggling over the contents of her message. A few pen scribbles on the attached card and Judy admired her handiwork:

_Dear Gideon Grey,_

_You are a person of rare intelligence. I say that, of course, in that, you rarely show any._

_With love_

_Judy Hopps_

_**Maybe it should be more relevant to the gift?**_

_Good idea._

Judy promptly struck out the previous line and read it out: 'I got you a plant. It's to replace all the oxygen you stole.'

_**Maybe you should just lose the card altogether.**_

_Sigh, doubt he even knows what 'oxygen' is._

Having arrived in the middle of the day, classes were still on so she arrived in little fanfare. The only other soul to have noticed her sudden return was none other than fellow locker buddy - Sharla. Judy gave the startled lamb a wave before she was ushered along by her father.

Gift giving proved equally anti-climatic. Judy found the fox in class and made her peace offering. Gideon, naturally shocked practically fell head over heels to make his heartfelt apologies. Putting on a fake smile, she accepted the sincere apologies before bringing out her gift.

"It's a dypsis lutescens, " she insisted.

"You know you can just call it a plant."

"Uh okay, my parents insist on using the scientific terminology. But most folks call it an...Areca palm. It symbolises...our, " she glanced to the side where her gift was sans card "...our growing friendship."

_**Oh wow, I'm just basking in that sincerity...aren't you some sort of actress. Couldn't you fake it a little better? **_

_I'm doing the best with what I've got._

"Uh, thanks I guess," Gideon said, carefully accepting the gift.

Afterwards, with a goodbye wave to her father, Judy was directed to a specially pre-arranged classroom and toward a particular desk by a rather stern looking elephant who plopped himself down on a couch sent from the teacher's lounge that seemed to sag beneath his weight. Atop a desk stood a set of official-looking papers and a couple of pencils.

"The test is divided into sections," the elephant began. "First, is math, then science and languages."

71 x 82 = _ "Seriously?" she muttered to herself. The rest of the page followed in much the same calibre, but after a while, they started getting harder. Well, at least harder by sixth-grade standards.

A train pulls out of Zootopia making 20 knots per second . . . "Are they trying to put me to sleep?"

. . .

The last question of the math section required mathematical proof, something Judy accomplished by applying basic tautology. "I thought the questions would get harder," she muttered.

"Finished already?" the elephant muttered as Judy approached the desk. Students who returned placement exams quickly usually gave up.

The science section proved equally a breeze. It was, after all, more akin to memorisation at her level and in Judy's opinion was almost entirely useless for those who didn't intend to specialise in the field. There was an entirely new section for computing and working with the base eight proved little challenge when Judy shared headspace with someone already used to working in base twelve.

"Finished already?" her grader asked in surprise. "I haven't even gotten halfway grading the first section."

Next came the 'languages' section. The first two-thirds were straightforward though as she flipped the page to see a bunch of glyphs that she felt a foreign wave of confusion over her.

_**This looks like someone smashed their face into a piece of paper and tried to create an alphabet from the smudges.**_

_First, of, that's an exaggeration. I hope you will show a little more respect for the culture. You see, prior to unification, body language was a big deal and our written language is based upon that. It's a requirement that everyone learns their own written language along with Common._

_**I guess that makes sense. Common is sort of your version of English then? I guess it's true what they say - all aliens speak English. You could sort of imagine that squiggle to be an ear. Can you still do that? The sign language I mean.**_

_You know, you might well be the weirdest person I've ever met. I mean, I know a few signs but it's largely a dead art especially now that being mute would get you blacklisted. Hold on a bit, let me try something._

Judy had previously been able to send images so it lent itself to reason that she could do the same with memory which was after all nothing but a packet of images. Judy's brow furrowed as she conjured up a snippet of memory - that of an elderly bunny performer performing a series of rapid hand signage complete with ear flops without a word of dialogue save the movement of the puppet. The mental effort proved taxing especially on something she hadn't paid very much attention to at the time.

_**Cool, that was interesting. I hadn't seen a puppet show like that when I was alive.**_

_So, out of curiosity how did you actually die?_

**...**

_Seriously, a toaster? No offence, but when my life flashes before my eyes, I hope it'll be a lot more exciting than that. How about something a little less depressing._

For the next hour, Judy daydreamed of fantastical Earth warriors like the Knights of Ni and fantastical beasts like the Killer Rabbit Of Cabbernnogh all while waiting for her grades with a dopey smile. Every so often, she heard her marker mutter in disbelief. It was only once he had finished and called in her father that they spoke once again.

"So, how did she do?" Stu Hopps asked nervously, tilting his head toward his daughter.

"Utterly baffling."

"Baffling?"

"I don't understand this test at all." The examiner said, motioning toward the stack of papers. "It's like she's some kind of savant. The numerical sections of the test out are of the water, and I don't mean just for a typical doe her age. The maths score alone indicates that she should be taking classes at University."

"Does this mean she's set for life?"

"It's a policy that we don't make predictions like that but privately I would offer a tentative yes." Stu Hopps stood open mouth as the elephant slid out a sheet of official paper from a folder and thumbed over to the 'preferred career section' Judy had listed all those years ago. Well, Stu, I think that your daughter is going to be a cop assuming that some other corporation doesn't snap her up first."

Judy could hardly believe it as she made her way down the hall, stunned by the revelation. Stu Hopps, beaming proudly waved his daughter off as she slid into the car with Gideon and his father. Her mind swimming with the possibilities that her new aptitude scores afforded.

"Just want you kids to be careful alright, " Gideon's father mentioned. "There was a police raid last night in a house just two blocks down from the supermart."

"Was it a drug raid?" Judy asked at once.

"That's what I thought at first, " Gideon's father said. "There's all these drugs floating around nowadays. I heard about this one waiter talking about a bunny who ate an entire steak by her lonesome but I digress. Anyway, I know these people, they were engineers working on a kind of thinking telegraph computer."

"A what?"

"You know, in the old days, we used to send telegraph signals over the wire with dots and dashes, " to illustrate Gideon's father started hammering out SOS on the dashboard of the car. "They're doing that with binary. The binary is fed through machines that in turn sends steams of binary through other machines."

"Sounds complex."

"You bet it is. The first prototypes are being put to work compiling government census data. They can do some pretty incredible things like adding up whole reams of numbers in a second."

"So, they're radicals then?" Gideon suggested.

"Why would someone throw away their whole future like that?" Judy asked.

"Nowadays," Gideon's father began, "all births are logged into government records so people go through extreme lengths to make their kid's records look okay "

"So, what's gonna happen to them?"

"Probably reeducation camp, " Gideon's father said. "They pop in for six months and come out good as new."

_**Do they lobotomize people in there?**_

_Honestly, I have no idea how things work in your world but these are...people who tamper with the livelihoods of millions in exchange for what...bribes? _

_**Alright, I get it these test scores mean a lot to you. And you think these people deserve whatever they get It's just that I'm getting bad vibes from all this. Is this something like the government is a fascist dictatorship but it's okay because the trains run on time?**_

_We're not in some sort of dictatorship. The mayor is an elected official. The trains generally run on time but not always on the rural routes and...wait is this some reference I_'_m not getting from your world?_

_**Sort of.**_

_In school, we learn about the Great Famine. We did field trips, looked at photographs and listened to interviews. Basically, once we were no longer eating each other society had to adapt, only it didn't. More prey living to adulthood meant a strain on food supplies and so we had to come up with the testing system to keep our population at a sustainable growth rate. _

_**We had an economic theory like that. In a nutshell, Malthusian theory suggested that food production couldn't keep up with exponential population growth. What actually happened was that during the Industrial Revolution people started having fewer kids and So, are you telling me he was right?**_

_Yes and no. We did keep our population fed but barely. Your Malthus sort of assumed that population growth would continue growing exponentially in the future right? Well, ours did and the tipping point came in the series of repeated crop failures. I went on a field trip once and something that stuck with me was a piece of bread made from back then. The museum had it cut open to show what was inside only it wasn't really bread at all more like...bark because of some of what was added really was bark, pine needles and other unmentionables. I don't always agree with what's being done now but looking at those exhibits...at least we pulled through you know?_

"And we're here, " Gideon's father remarked pulling up to a nondescript two-storey grocery store. "I'll introduce you to the supervisor so you'll know what to do."

The first few hours of dressing in green aprons and stacking boxes with a huge fake smile alongside her mortal enemy had left Judy fuming internally.

After that, Judy tried a new tactic: she told herself that although it was a waste of her talents it was just transitory. It paid, and that was all that mattered while she waited for better opportunities to roll by.

Despite being assigned demeaning tasks the boss's son wouldn't stoop to do like 'Cleanup on aisle five!" she remained a diligent worker.

Late afternoon was slow and Judy had time to work on assignments while helping Gideon with his own. Helping someone on assignments meant for several years her senior wasn't the hard part. It was being diplomatic to someone whom she loathed with every fibre of her being. Equally difficult was attributing her knowledge to a previously unheard of uncle and pretending to struggle at questions to which she already knew the answers to As the voice in her head put it - Never outshine the 'master'.

She had to say: "Ah, that bit is hard. Luckily, Uncle Herbert showed me just how to do it. You see, you have to visualise the planar model as…"

All good things came to an end however when Gideon called it quits, hung up his apron and left for the day about an hour before her own shift was over without a word of protest from the supervisor.

_**What do you think he gets up to?**_

_I don't know, shaking someone down for lunch money even though he's already rich? Setting ants on fire with a magnifying glass? Frittering away his future at the arcade when he should' be studying. Why would I care?_

_**That was a cookbook in his knapsack. **_

_How do you even know that?_

_**Peripheral vision. I didn't actually catch too much of it but -**_

_Maybe he's holding it ransom from someone._

_**Oh, smart kid.**_

Judy's nostrils flared as she picked up the unwelcome scent of a fox at the cashier counter. Almost instinctively, her hand hovered near the emergency industrial-strength fox taser located just beneath the counter. Judy vividly remembered the crackle and the thick scent of ozone after her supervisor had demonstrated its use. Between self-defence classes and her new toy, she felt calmer and her arm settled by her side.

"Just filling the tank, " the fox remarked jabbing a thumb toward a sputtering van that had clearly seen better days.

She took careful note of his appearance. The lanky fox wore a Hawaiian shirt and was covered in red fur with up to his muzzle, olive-green eyes and a nose with a hint of purple. Once she was certain she would be able to pick the fox out from a lineup of similarly shifty characters she spoke up. "That would be thirty-two-ninety-five please, " she took the card he slid over and ran it through the reader which promptly spat out a rejection.

"_Probably stolen," _she muttered to herself.

"Try it again, " the fox requested. He retrieved his card, huffed gave it a through wiping on his shirt and slid it over.

"Sir this card isn't working," she reiterated after several more fruitless attempted. "Do you have cash or another card you can use?"

The fox made a show of patting all over himself and coming up empty. "Oh, will you look at that. I forgot my wallet. I would've forgotten my head too if it weren't attached to my head."

"Could you find someone else to pay on your behalf?"

"Look around carrots, do you see anyone else? I tell you what. The name's Nicholas P. Wilde but you can call me Nick. I have a kid in the back of that van and I was just robbed on the way here so it's been one really messed up day. So, I was wondering if you can let this little discretion slide, cutie."

Unmoved, Judy started back.

"I would appreciate if you didn't call me that. Also, I'm afraid that unless someone pays on your behalf you're going to have to request you to complete a Means to Pay form which must be settled in forty-eight hours under subsection 12-A of the Haberdashery and Banking Act."

She slid the sheet over, keeping an eye affixed on the fox at all times.

"Now see here carrots, ordering a grown-up about that's management material right there. I wonder what poor clerk sent you this apprenticeship l by mistake. You should be running this joint."

If this had been an attempt at flattery Judy couldn't help but be unimpressed. "I'm an employee and for your information, the system works just fine. Us kids get a future lined up based upon our aptitude score."

"Then why does all this rigmarole need to exist?" he said gesturing to a pile of open school books. Utilizing the distraction, Nick waltzed over to the free samples and popped a prune into his mouth before deftly picking away the straw bits with a toothpick he produced from his shirt pocket. "Nature filters itself."

"Not how we want it to. Nature didn't intend for predator and prey to 'get along'. Nature would never have created Zootopia where all our founding species are represented in one city with carefully cultivated biomes for each group. It's nature that makes people stupid, greedy, short-sighted and tribalistic. We improved upon the lot nature intended for us."

"Is this propaganda what they spit out nowadays?" Nick asked leaning over the counter.

Judy took a step back before realising that her only means of self-defence was now out of reach. "The government doesn't operate some conspiracy. It doesn't fabricate statistics or...or change test scores. Everyone, from predators to prey are working towards a brighter tomorrow. Some get the short end of the stick but we can't change basic biology."

"Do you know Mayor Lionheart's aptitude scores?"

"The Mayor does well in the polling stations. I don't need to know his scores."

"Strange that yours are in the public domain and yet his aren't."

Judy frowned, questioning the wisdom of debating politics with a total stranger. "Are you saying the mayor should be penalised for desiring a little privacy?"

"Not at all. It's an old adage: information is power. The more you know about someone the easier it is to control them. Don't you find it a little strange that wealthy, powerful people are almost never blacklisted or arrested?"

"I think it's good breeding, " Judy theorists. Smarter, healthier and well-adjusted people rise to the top. They pass those beneficial traits on to their kids. It's evolution 101."

"That's not how evolution works carrots, " Nick snapped. "In my grandparent's day, when they were reconciling the whole population crisis they would've looked at where we've gotten and said 'good enough'. Do you see the tests stopping by the time you reach adulthood?"

Judy shook her head "No, it's too early. There's still so much unrest."

"When do you think they'll stop?"

Judy stared, amazed at the stupidity of the question. "When people stop failing the competency tests and future generations are smart, responsible and emotionally stable," Judy said slowly, trying to figure out what he wasn't understanding.

"And what's the exit strategy when that happens?" he asked.

"There's no need to do anything. People will stop failing because they'll be more competent."

"Generally,-" Nick added in the condescending tone of somebody lecturing a child, "-people are lazy. If there's a cheap and efficient way to do something, they fight tooth and nail to keep that system. Especially rich people. The people who need low-cost labour at garbage-sorting facilities and farms."

"They'll just hire employees, " Judy snapped. "They already do that when they can't find enough blacklisted people to take those jobs. But it's just a temporary measure. Once our government achieves it slated targets our intelligent workforce will wield our resources more effectively. Once they're no defectives and freeloaders about they'll simply be more resources to go about, everyone benefits."

"True. But you said that there's no need for an 'exit strategy' because people would stop failing. Except that they every time too many people pass they move the goalpost, over and over again. At first, they say you need basic skills; then literacy by a certain age. Now, they say you can't suffer from this particular disease they just discovered how to test for..."

"There's nothing arbitrary or 'magical' about basic health standards."

"...Yet their results remain suspiciously under lock and key, " Nick continued. "They aren't being selfish, though, oh no. The ship they're steering needs a steady hand, the critics are being short-sighted and the fact that it's better for the people in charge is entirely unintentional."

"You can make anything sound absurd with enough baseless rhetoric," Judy snapped. "You can't just make up a bunch of stuff about the system being evil and call it an argument."

"What part of what I've said was made up?" Nick asked, raising an eyebrow. "This system is a farce coached in scientific-sounding mumbo-jumbo meant to look enlightened."

"Uh, no it isn't," Judy said. "When you're filtering a population you're limited by what's available. But now that they're more kids we can afford to be a lot pickier. What we have is a meritocracy that preserves our diversity."

"Okay, so in this hypothetical society of yours where is the diversity? Do you think that a world of hypercompetent predators and prey living in 'harmony' is a testament to that? A society where everyone is the best at everything the 'powers that be' deem important, Except that what's 'important' gets narrower and narrower every year because they need to maintain a workable demographic."

"So, you're arguing against the markers then?" Judy said, tapping her foot impatiently.

"They don't make sense, " Nick asserted. "I know people who got blacklisted for conditions they weren't even aware existed. It's like some back-end clerk stuck a bell curve over a whole bunch of variables and called it a day's work. Besides, denying those who don't meet the benchmark the right to vote or marry just creates more problems than it solves."

"Would you want a blind person breeding with another blind person creating future generations of blindness? Would you want them driving cars on the street or worse breeding with respectable people who can see?"

"Did you know I've never met a 'worthless' person? What exactly is stopping a blind person from say becoming a talented musician."

"I wouldn't put much stock in anecdotes," Judy said dryly. "The rules seem overzealous because they apply to everyone. If it didn't the system would be a cesspool of nepotism and corruption."

"Right, I forgot that in our culture being 'cruel' was the same thing as 'smart. You know, it ain't the idea of markers that are necessarily wrong but the idea that we can gauge someone's 'usefulness' based on them that's wrong, just-."

"And Sir, I'm afraid my shift ends in fifteen minutes and unless you sign the form, " she said sliding it over. "I'm going to have to lodge a police report."

With none of his usual flair, Nick whipped out a fifty and handed over to Judy who at once inspected the watermark in the light to determine its authenticity.

"Ya know, it cost a lot more than fifty dollars to fake fifty dollars.'

Satisfied, Judy slipped the note into the till and counted out the change. "Thank you and have a nice day."

The con was obviously well-rehearsed. A mixture of lies with just enough half-truths to lend the rhetoric some legitimacy.

It might have worked on a weak-willed mind, but Judy knew a bad basis for a reason when she saw one. She may have felt an obligation to investigate testing variables on her own time but she wasn't obligated to pretend that a conman's ability to spout lies at an unprepared audience somehow made them right.

"Just one more thing before you leave," Judy's supervisor called. " Could you run an errand for me? Gideon left some his books in and you'll need to drop them off at his house."

_**Drat.**_

_Sigh._

"Of course, " Judy said enthusiastically.

"Dang, no answer, " Judy remarked as she stood in front of the shuttered gate.

She checked the time on her watch. The last bus before further few was setting off soon and she didn't know how long she needed to wait at the intercom

_**I know a better way. Check those cameras by the fence out.**_

Uh, what cameras?

_**Those ones up there. See those blinking red lights? Real cameras don't usually blink like that. Plus, they aren't connected to anything.**_

Judy had never committed a crime before but she would never admit to failure when there was a readily available solution before her. She checked the ground around the fence which encircled the property and upon finding a soft patch of dirt promptly dug her way through. From there, it was a short jaunt to the front porch. Judy shifted her posture and slunk her way towards it on all fours. Her ultra-sensitive ears picked up nothing save the rustling of grass in the wind and she thought that if she ever decided to work on the other side of the law she would have a very particular set of skills. Skills that -

"Do you understand how dangerous this is?"

Voices, loud and heated rang out from the Grey family home. Judy pressed herself down and swivelled her ears to eavesdrop on the heated debate occurring on the floor above.

"He's eight and he cut his foot on a rock. Forgive me, if I don't think that should be a death sentence."

"I'd like to save every unregistered refugee we run into. But every time we do it'll draw suspicion to you, and me, and Gideon," that was Gideon's dad's voice.

"They won't. We've arranged it well in advance. They'll arrest me, the seditious witch who unbeknownst to her husband was secretly embezzling funds for her radical agenda. You'll play the role of the poor upright father who now needs to raise his traumatised son all alone."

"All these years, do you honestly think I would throw you to the wolves?"

"Yes. For our son's sake, you would. They'll send in their bloodhounds and no amount of bribes will be enough to stop the government from exiling the valley's inhabitants. Our help may have saved an unregistered eight-year-old boy but it just brings a world of trouble to our doorstep."

"Why would you assume he's telling the truth about their hideaway?"

"Valley, Junkrats in some abandoned factory, a group of stoners solving mysteries in a camper van, why does it matter? If they're close enough to make it here on foot they can be caught. Do you think they'll last very long under interrogation? They'd spit out anything if they think it'll save their skin.

_**I would rather not find out what the inside of a reeducation camp looks like since you probably already have one too many foreign objects in your head already.**_

_You're right. I'm going home and pretending none of this happened._

Judy had heard enough. She left the books on the front porch, slipped under the fence and made sure to cover up the disturbed earth. She boarded the bus and knew she would make it home just before curfew. There, she would sit down and watch TV with the rest of her family and hope they wouldn't make too big a fuss over her new grades.

She knew her updated aptitude scores would qualify her for virtually any profession the Mammal Inclusion Act had made available including the Police Force. She didn't need to worry about her employers who were radicals and subversives frittering away the privileges bestowed on them by the government. She didn't need to worry about the pond scum of society - defectives and their short-sighted parents who were undermining the hard work put in to send Mammalia into an unending golden age. She was a loyal citizen with Class A grades who would bring immense pride and prestige to her family that was all that mattered.


	5. Acid Trip

**Acid Trip**

Morning arose over Zootopia's Rainforest District. The air was still and the streets strangely devoid of foot traffic. Not all was well within the city that never slept, trouble lurked within Zootopia's central sluice control station - that essential installation responsible for keeping each of the city's carefully curated environs in perfect alignment.

A weasel darted his way through row after row of blinking consoles complete with dials, diodes and levers which governed the city's water supply. The entire city was practically held hostage; a button push in just the right spot could just as easily sever District One's water supplies as it could flood the city's bone-dry savannah district.

In spite of the tools of destruction clearly laid before him, it was clear that Duke Weaselton's intentions extended beyond mere wanton acts of terrorism. Above his head, he hoisted a large nondescript duffle bag that he kept safe from harm even as he squeezed past maintenance workers and shoved engineers into their consoles in his getaway attempt.

All was going well for Duke Weaselton's until the floor grates began to rattle ominously, forcing him to pick up the pace in order to evade the Zootopia Police Department's finest. The weasel darted into the restricted section of the facility where he reached an ominously labelled section entitled: 'Warning: Chemical Sludge' and promptly relieved a nearby workman of his goggles and hard hat before darting through the rapidly closing security doors.

Just behind him, Jack Savage raced along on all fours. His combat suit was just as much life support as it was state-of-the-art power armour equipped with all manner of crime fighting tools. Now, his suit's back-mounted TX-28 MicroFusion Pack was diverting virtually the entirety of its output into the suit's hydraulic systems, propelling him forward at incredible speeds.

Now thanks to his cybernetic enhancements, the former car bomb victim was now as unrelenting as the cold steel that now encased his body. Jack leapt over obstacles and where he couldn't match the weasel in agility he more than compensated with sheer brute strength by ploughing through the security door like it was made of cardboard and shoving aside lockers shoved into his path of advance.

"I'm just expressing my rights as a private citizen!" Duke Weaselton shot back as he pushed over a vat of chemicals that Jack ploughed straight into. Naturally, his suit was protective against all manner of biological agents but the same could not be said of his sensors which were completely fouled up. Growling, Jack Savage reached up to his in-built communicator installed into his metallic bunny ears. "Skye, can you draw a bead on him?"

The scene zoomed out and a lanky all-white vixen came into view. In spite of spray ruffling tufts of cheek fur and generic spy-themed music played in the background her gazed remained intently focused on the blinking red dot on her handy crime-o'-tracker.

"I heard you. It's just that I think I've made a wrong turn somewhere or...or..." Skye used her finger to trace her present position to the blinking red dot before she gave up and looked up.

The camera panned out, revealing Skye riding a gondola being slowly rolling down an artificial canal; one of many throughout the rainforest district. The spray into her face was none other than a malfunctioning humidifier. She gave her tracker a comical slap before realising that through sheer luck or happenstance, she had wound up a block from her intended destination.

"Thank you!" The gondola ferryman stopped playing and stared in amazement as one of his passengers stepped off the side, splashed into waist-deep water and began doggy-paddling to the other side.

Sopping wet, Skye pulled herself onto the adjacent dockyard and slowly tilted her head to the jaunty tune of carnival music. Tracing the sound with her sensitive ears, she came across a miniature city of Rodentia which was evidently in the midst of a hosing a carnival. In the middle of the attraction, there was a well-dressed mouse sporting a magician's top hat presenting apparently asking for a volunteer for his next act. Clasping both hands in childlike glee 'special' agent Skye strode toward the makeshift podium paying no heed to the waist-high fencing erected around the town which she promptly stepped over crushing an unmanned tofu hot dog stand as she did so.

At once, the audience let loose a collective gasp at the sight of a giant predator invading their home; some fainted on the spot, children froze up and huddled up with their parents. No one moved or spoke for what seemed like an eternity before the slightly portly magician waddled over to the microphone in order to address the giantess.

"Young lady, your enthusiasm is just…wonderful, " Skye knelt down and levelled with the mouse with a creepy smile spread across her muzzle. The well-dressed magician took a step back and with his nose twitching offered the vixen an uneasy smile. "But if you don't mind you're scaring everyone and –"

That was about as far as he got before she plucked up the sumptuous little morsel and tossed him into her open maw as nonchalantly as one would with a peanut. Just as Skye was nonchalantly wiping her muzzle clean with the remains of a partly chewed up bowler hat, the mesmerised crowd broke into a panic and scattered in all directions.

Ignoring the screams, Skye's tracker beeped again and she found her path to the rendezvous blocked off by a miniature factory. Running past the well-lit passageways meant for mid-sized Mammalia, Skye ploughed straight ahead into the factory's causing popsicle stick supports to snap and the Moostercard billboard to come crashing to the ground. Pausing just long enough to peel the crushed remains of a matchbox-sized car from her foot Skye kept running to cut-off the criminal.

Ahead of Skye however, the destruction was somehow even more catastrophic than what she had wrought. The ground was pockmarked with craters and a car sailed over Skye forcing her to duck for cover. She spyed her partner with his vision slit splattered in various miscellaneous substances hoisted up a heavy manhole cover with his pneumatic gauntlets and hurled the solid lead disk straight through a storefront before assaulting the innocent people huddled within with a tear gas canister. Eventually, coughing and sputtering Duke Weaselton gave up the ghost depositing the partially torn duffel bag which consisted of nothing more than a set of aerosol spare cans.

"Surrender now and we'll use police brutality," Jack demanded while facing in completely the wrong direction

"There, you've caught me" the weasel declared pitifully raising his arms in defeat before realisation dawned upon his face: "Wait, don't you mean 'or'?"

Skye hoisted up her truncheon and the screen flicked off.

"Awwwwwww, " the Hopps children said in unison.

"C'mon kids time for bed, " Bonnie Hopps said rolling her eyes.

With thoughts of government conspiracies running through her head, Judy had trouble sleeping. She knew come tomorrow news of her status of 'family genius' would be on everyone's tongue so she had to have a full night's rest. Judy knew she wasn't supposed to take medicine unsupervised, especially when in bright bold letters the label clearly indicated – keep out of reach of children. Nonetheless, she was forced to do so when at a point in her childhood, Judy was beset by countless sleepless nights.

Bunnies were by nature naturally watchful creatures. The fact that they were no longer getting eaten by predators was not enough to change the millennia of evolution and it might be millennia more before they lost their caution altogether. That at least was how Bonnie had explained the situation to her daughter. Through trial and error, Judy could make a reasonable guesstimate of the correct dosage and so she took a pair of scissors, cut the capsule in two and popped it into her mouth before settling into bed.

Judy lay motionless in bed, limp and relaxed; her mind was empty and quiet. Mine was not. I was acutely aware of everything – the chirping of cicadas and the soft breathing of her siblings. She was asleep. I was not. I couldn't sleep. At all. You think that wouldn't bother me after all this time. But it does.

Nothing happened.

Then, you guessed it. Nothing kept happening.

I could hear breathing, feel the slow rise of my chest, our calm heartbeat thumping away and the seconds ticking away on the clock.

_**Tick. Three-hundred and forty-five.**_

_**Tack. Three-hundred and forty-six.**_

_**Tick. Three-hundred and forty-seven.**_

_**Tock. Three-hundred and forty-eight**_  
_**.**_  
Oh, what's that a sudden itch on our side? Judy shifted but the irritation remained. Damn, I feel like a fogie trapped in a retirement home.

_**Judy!**_

Oh, that's right She's drugged out. Just then, a thought occurred to me. Why don't I just do it myself? Right foot deployed, itch scratched successfully, roll onto the opposite side. Tail swishing back and forth and back again in satisfaction. Tail settled back down. Back to more nothingness., Wait did I do that all on my own? I rolled over to the side and landed on the floor my eyes shooting wide. Somehow or other, I was firmly in the driver seat!

"Ffffokk!"

Great, I can't even speak properly.

I notice myself feeling lightheaded and my chest drawing tighter. Is this some weird bunny thing? Oh wait, Judy still needs to breath, doesn't she? I suck a lungful of air into Judy's lungs and the lightheadedness goes away though throbbing and the drug dizziness remained. Then there's that little matter of getting back in bed.

_**Hey, Judy? Are you there?**_

Nothing.

_**Judy! Get back your fluffy butt back in the driver seat of this body!**_

Still nothing. It was all on me, apparently, My initial attempts to clamber up onto the bed more closely resembled a prehistoric land eel than a bipedal anthropomorphic bunny. I ended up banging Judy's head on a bedpost. Hot burning hot pain shot through my borrowed body as I rubbed the bump and let loose a moan of pain and muttered a very raspy but definitely audible - "what?"

Okay, attempt number two at this new-fangled walking thing. I stretched my feet as far forward as possible before bringing the hind ones back under me then pushing pushed was in a sort of squatting position. That reminded me a lot of those Animal planet documentaries where the baby calf tries to stand minutes after being born.

To my great surprise, it worked and I now stood upright albeit with the support of a bedpost. My vision might have been blurry and there was little I could do to control my ears and tail which seemed to have a life all on their own. Yet another problem on the list, as if being drugged and playing puppeteer over an unfamiliar body with wasn't bad enough.

The bed stood there warm and inviting. But I didn't want to sleep, not when this unique opportunity presented itself and I wasn't sure of just how long the opportunity would last. Owing to the drugs in our system, I tottered about unsteadily into the hallway before thinking better of it and switching to all fours for improved stability.

It was pretty funny that I was in Judy's body, and the irony that I had a wholly different set of organs wasn't lost on me, I decided that I wasn't going to waste the opportunity to stretch my new muscles out.

_"I feel charming_

_Oh, so charming_

_It's alarming how charming I feel_

_And so pretty_

_That I hardly can believe I'm real"_

I sounded a lot deeper than Judy normally would which isn't as surprising as you would think since voice is much mental as it is dependent on the internal shape of the larynx.

All that extra exertion however did not exactly do wonders for Judy's drugged out body. The choking knot in my borrowed throat let me know that Judy had just about reached her stress limit. Her stomach churned and all the blood rushing straight up to our head also brought up the contents of dinner. Thankfully, I avoided stepping on the vomit puddle mostly due to a combination of muscle memory and a touch of sheer luck.

"One of you kids still up?"

Uh oh, that was her mother.

_**Hey Judy? Are you in there? I'm not sure I can fool your mother.**_

Nothing. It's all down to me.

I cracked my head to get a better look. Judy's mother was probably in her mid-forties, although she didn't look her age. In spite of years of manual labour, she took good care of herself and her billowy nightgown failed to hide well-defined muscles beneath her stocky frame.

I bit my tongue and froze hoping to evade the notice of the matriarch of the Hopps family. "Now, where did I put my stress meds, " she mumbled, assaulting my ultra-sensitive nose with the strong scent of alcohol. Needlessly to say, my attempts at stealth were unsuccessful since bunnies have a great sense of smell and hearing. Bonnie's nose twitched as she squinted at the shape huddled up against the wall "Judy?" she whispered.

**_She's had a drink and is half asleep_****_, al_****_l you need to do is convince her this is all a dream. _**_**Okay brain, work your magic**_

"Can you take me to the doctor? Because I think I just broke my foot falling for you."

_**D'oh!**_

The doe's eyes grow wide losing all trace of sleepiness as her brain attempted to process the clumsy attempts at seduction by the thing wearing her daughter's body. A part of my mind wanted to see how fast I could run in my drugged out state, another suggested coming up with something even more outrageous and still another suggested flap my arms and make aeroplane noises.

Realising I needed to defuse the situation quickly I shifted my weight to my hind legs and stood upright looking Bonnie straight into the eye. If not for the twitchy arm, randomly flopping ears and I would almost have passed as her daughter. Then, I give my best creepy grin and said: "I'm an alien who had commandeered your daughter's body for the sole purpose of securing sustenance. Now, I command you to return to your lodgings and sleep where you shall awaken finding nothing amiss."

"Uhm okay...whatever you say...alien thing, " said Bonnie backing up and walking slowly away, muttering under her breath that she probably shouldn't have taken that shot of celebratory absinthe.

Ah, crisis averted.

That gave me an idea. Maybe I could have a drink instead. I deserve that don't I? Or maybe not, I don't think sedatives goes well with alcohol. My stomach churned reminding me of the fact that I had just emptied out the contents of dinner on the floor. So, I should get to eat at least. But I can't let myself start thinking about this being my body, I'm simply borrowing it.

Like most bachelors, the experience I had in the kitchen was limited, to say the least. My thoughts went on to preparing a meal for myself. Ever since that heavenly experience with alligator steak, Judy had been looking for more affordable alternatives. Suffice to say, the alternatives weren't all that appealing. The veggie steak was an abomination - spinach, potatoes, and ground nuts with an egg to bind the mass together. If that wasn't bad enough it took some getting used to the things' interior, which was sickly pale green. Besides, even if I had all the necessary ingredients I wasn't sure if I was coordinated enough not to cut myself or set the kitchen on fire.

So, sandwiches it would be. They were, as anticipated stored in large ready-to-eat Tupperware containers for tomorrow's breakfast. I stuck it into the microwave, then rifled through the medicine cabinet to find the bottle of sedatives Judy had taken.

Using the light from the microwave oven I read off the label.

"Hmm, here we go side effects of benzodiazepines include temporary hyperpolarization of brain cells thereby inducing anterograde amnesia. Take with caution and keep out of reach from children."

I had no idea what half of that actually meant nor did I have the necessary materials to investigate so I decided to ask when she awoke.

**Bing!**

Oh, the sandwich is done.

Hmm, definitely tastes different from before. It's crunchy, tangy with just a hint of nut and what's this? My tongue rolled about the miscellaneous object before I spat it onto the floor.

Do you know what's worse than finding a grasshopper in your sandwich? It's finding half of it and realising that in those precious moments of blissful ignorance it tasted good to someone raised on corn-fed Grade A beef.

Naturally, I did the first logical thing that came to mind and checked the rest to make sure it wasn't some sort of practical joke and lo and behold they were in every one. Right, locusts. Judy's farm was supposed to be riddled with these guys. I suppose her parents were thinking - Why not turn these nuisances into a cheap protein-rich meal and all the kids will be none the wiser on where their protein comes from when the things are sliced and diced.

Just then, I was struck with an epiphany and like any great idea in life it came from humble origins - Archimedes had his when he sat in a bath and discovered water displacement; Newton had his when an apple fell on his head. Mine came when I accidentally ate a bug and liked it.

For too long, predators had been shunned for their very natural urges, forced to turn to less than adequate substitutes. Why should hide when they indulge their very natural needs? Screw investigating this government conspiracy. There's money to be made.

* * *

Written for April Fools.


End file.
